


A Love For The Ages

by Fandom_girl21



Category: Bible - Fandom, Book of Enoch - Fandom, Supernatural
Genre: Adorable, Angels, Angst, Angst and Porn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anna (Supernatural) - Freeform, Based on a Tumblr Post, Bible, Book of Enoch, Drama, Drama & Romance, Dysfunctional Family, Eventual Smut, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Family Issues, Family Reunion, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Heaven, Hell, Human AU, I Blame Tumblr, I Don't Even Know, I REGRET NOTHING, Imagine your OTP, M/M, Modern AU, Nicknames, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Pre-Fall, Pre-Series, Shameless Smut, Sharing a Bed, Smut, Supernatural - fandom, Tumblr Posts, tumblr made me do this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 05:41:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 22,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5900452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandom_girl21/pseuds/Fandom_girl21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chapter 1: Azazel and Raphael have a misunderstanding. Well, it's more Azazel intentionally misunderstood and Raphael is an innocent cinnamonroll.</p><p>Chapter 2: Azazel and Raphael order takeout, things escalate. </p><p>Chapter 3: Azazel prides himself on not getting flustered easily, enter Raphael.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Vessels

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Monekygirl77](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Monekygirl77).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's how I picture them.

So for the modern AUs I can't imagine Raphael and Azazel in the vessels they are in the shows. So here are the ones I do imagine them in.

**Raphael's Vessel:**

**Jewelry:**

 

 _Meaning:_ Associated with healing and luck. The "gambler's stone". Even Raphi needs a little luck once in a while.

Archangel Raphael's sacred color is green and these are one of his sacred stones.

**Tattoo:**

 

 _Meaning:_ Koi fish tattoo designs as a cultural symbol for overcoming adversity. Stories are told of how they climb waterfalls that have strong. Raphael is the only gay brother in the modern AUs (he doesn't know about his dad). So he got this tattoo to remind himself how far he's come.

Also the Archangel Raphael's sacred animal is a fish. I thought it'd be a nice tie-in.

**Azazel's Vessel:**

 

**Jewelry:**

_Meaning:_ Azazel is biblically associated with chaos, sin.

So I thought in the modern AUs he'd definitely have something on his persons to personify his free-spirit, and love of adventure and danger.

**Tattoo:**

 

 _Meaning:_ All his life Azazel's been blamed and "scapegoated" for other people. Instead of shying away from the label he ran with it. Took the tattoo of the goat to remind himself he is independent, a loner, no one will control him.

Biblically he was called the scapegoat, so another little tie-in.


	2. Misunderstanding

Azazel lay on the couch, reading when Raphael threw the eighth fit that morning.

He glanced at Raphael trying to keep the smile from his voice.

"Something wrong luv?"

"Ugh, screw me!"

Came his terse reply. As he hunched over his medical books at their kitchen table.

Azazel smiled fully. Swinging his long legs up and down he sat up and faced his back.

"My, my your so forward this morning."

Raphael turned glaring as Azazel stayed smirking at him.

"What? I didn't mean—"

"Now now, don't play oblivious angel, you were never good at it."

Azazel stood sauntering over toward him. Deliberately going slow.

Raphael cheeks slowly darkened under Azazel's wolffish grin.

"Wait t-that wasn't—"

Azazel swiftly kissed him hard not giving him a chance to finish his stammering explanation. He tipped Raphael's head back deepening the kiss. 

Just as Raphael started to kiss back enthusiastically, Azazel pulled back grinning.

"I know. Later though, when your done studying."

Raphael looked up at him dazed. Azazel gave him a wink as he went back to the couch and continued to read, ever aware at Raphael's gaze on him.


	3. Dessert

It was a late Friday night or early morning Saturday when they decided to order take out. Ah, how Azazel loved the convenience of NYC.

Raphael and he lay sprawled on their couch when Raphael reached for his phone.

"Alright there's a new Persian place that opened on Madison we haven't had yet. Want to try that?"

Azazel looked up from fidgeting with Raphael's bracelet and nodded.

As Raphael rattled the menu off, Azazel focused on trying to take off his notoriously tight bracelet.

Suddenly Raphael's hand closed on his like a Venus fly trap.

Azazel looked up, 

"I assume you payed attention and know what you want?"

Azazel rolled his eyes, he hated when Raphael's used his doctor voice on him.

"Maybe, do you know what you want to order?"

"I don't know. I'm not really sure what to order."

He mumbled as he focused on his phone screen. He pulled his hand away to search some of the more interesting sounding entrées when Azazel had a brilliant idea.

"Why don't you order me?"

Raphael raised an eyebrow but didn't respond. He was used to Azazel's dirty mind, it was one of the things he liked about him.

Instead Raphael called the number and ordered for them. While Azazel flipped through Netflix to find something remotely interesting to watch.

Raphael came back to sit next him. Very close to him, deliberately close he might add.

Azazel turned to see Raphael smiling slyly at him. His stomach flipped. Even after so many years together that look still sent butterflies through him. 

Raphael leaned close, his lips a breath away from his ear.

"Don't worry Azazel, l'll have you as dessert."

Azazel grinned pulling away so they could look at each other. It was so rare that Raphael played along,

"Why not as an appetizer?"

Raphael shook his head, a flirtatious smile playing on his lips. 

"No, I want to save the best for last."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on:
> 
> http://dreamergirl6.tumblr.com/post/138664899320/imagine-your-otp


	4. Blushing

Azazel was leaning against a tree in one of the gardens when Anael walked up to him.

She looked nervous.

"Do you ever get flustered?"

Azazel rose an eyebrow,

"No, I can't say that I do. I'm not the type that gets easily flustered. Why is something wrong little sister?"

Anael shook her head,

"Well, yes actually. Rumor is I'm eligible to run my own garrison. And I was hoping for some advice."

Azazel pushed off the tree and pulled her her closer.

"You'll be fine sister, you're a natural leader. But if you do want advice, treat them like family, they are your family first, they are soldiers second."

"I couldn't agree more."

They both turned to see Raphael walking toward them. Azazel forced himself to keep his grace steady. The last thing he wanted was the healer to be worried of his spiking grace.

"Raphael, I-I what brings you here?"

Raphael gave him a brilliant grin

"I'm glad you asked. Anael this is for you."

Raphael turned his brilliant smile from him to her, and held out an envelope.

Azazel forced himself to remain calm, everyone knew her and Gabriel were close. Still, you could never know.

"Thank you Raphael."

She stepped away from Azazel to give him a hug.

"Your welcome, you deserve it Anael. Gabriel tells me you've helped our younger siblings a lot. You've made out job easier, and without any of us asking you. That should not go unnoticed."

Anael ducked her head blushing. Raphael kissed her on the head, and sent Azazel a smile.

Azazel leaned back, trying to appear self assured. Only he misjudged the distance he had moved away from the tree. He fell, hard.

His wings flared out in surprise.

Anael shot him a glare. Raphael's lips twitched in smile, he hid his laughter well. He didn't want Azazel to feel even more embarrassed.

Azazel quickly got up, pretending to brush off any dirt.

He added Raphael's empathy to a long list of traits he admired.

"Are you alright brother?"

Raphael asked. 

Azazel nodded, 

He looked up to say he was fine, only to have his words die in his throat.

Raphael stood very close, his hand coming to check for any injuries.

Even with all of Azazel's effort, his grace spiked as Raphael touched his neck. 

Raphael looked up at him, his eyes worried.

"Where does it hurt?"

"It's nothing. It's how I get whenever you're close Raphael. You do this to me."

At least that's what Azazel wanted to say.

But he swallowed and thankfully common sense prevailed.

"It's nothing, really I'm alright."

Raphael's eyes narrowed. Finally he stepped away. Anael hid her grin, as Azazel's eyes slid to her.

"Well if your sure...?"

"I am. Thank you for the concern Raphael but I'm alright."

Raphael turned to leave, and Azazel slowly breathed a silent sigh of relief. Thanking Father.

Only to be taken completely off guard as Raphael turned back around.

He pulled him close, his eyes more focused than he'd ever seen them.

He kissed him on the forehead, his hand lingered on his cheek before he finally smiled.

"I'm glad you're okay Azazel."

Azazel's eyes widened but Raphael was already taking off before he could speak.

He shared a look with Anael.

She was smirking and chuckling.

"Oh, shut up. He doesn't like me like that."

Azazel slid down the tree his head in his hands. He groaned quietly, what must Raphael think of him now?

"I wouldn't say that, he seemed pretty worried."

"He's a healer, it's his job to worry."

"Does he usually cancel appointments with the other archangels for minor scrapes?"

Azazel looked up.

"What are you saying?"

"When you were pretending to brush off dirt, he got a message from Gabriel. I was close enough to read it, they were all meeting. Raphael told him he couldn't make it."

"Raphael brushed off the archangels to make sure I was okay?"

"Yes, it seems he likes you."

Azazel grinned, looking at the place Raphael just was.

"Looks like I have a chance after all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on:
> 
> http://cloudpuffhowell.tumblr.com/post/138753967655/person-a-yknow-i-never-get-flustered-im-not


	5. Chocolate (Part I)

They sat on the couch when Azazel fished out a bag of Hershey kisses from literally no where,

Raphael watched as he tore the bag open and popped one in his mouth.

"Can I have one?"

Azazel pretended to think for a moment and finally shook his head, 

"No."

He stuck his tongue as Raphael pouted.

"Please?"

Azazel sighed,

"Okay."

He held out a Hershey kiss toward him,

Raphael pushed Azazel's hand down and kissed him instead. Tasting the chocolate on Azazel's tongue.

Raphael pulled away and smirked,

"Thanks."

Azazel blinked in surprise before finally chucking at him.

"And I thought I was sly."


	6. Power

The wind whipped around them, Azazel stood staring at him, ignoring the paved streets and the many human eyes watching him.

"After all we've been through and you're going to just pretend it didn't happen?"

Raphael shook his head, the wind howled now. The eyes of their armies waiting in the wings for orders,

"Because it didnt! If I say it didn’t happen.. then it didn’t happen!… it didn’t happen…”

He was saying as if he was trying to convince himself, as if he was trying to erase their union in the sand that day. As if they they could both forget all of cosmos they explored together.

"Call the army off Azazel. Don't land yourself in the pit."

"I want you Raphael. That's all I ever wanted."

"I wasn't enough then what makes me enough now?"

"When that's all I thought of, when all I craved was your touch. You took me to places those humans never did."

Raphael's eyes twisted in pain, shrouded by curtains and curtains of anger.

"No. I did not. I took you to the dark, I bound you. I lead you to your punishment. Nothing more."

"How can you say that? How can you stand there and lie?"

"It is not a lie, for I stand in his light. For all he touches he's good. I am good, I therefore do not lie."

Azazel shook his head, pity and what once was love coloring his eyes. He would have settled for at least a glance a smile anything. Now he would destroy Raphael, if he was being bound so would he. They'd be together again.

"Is it a lie if I say I still love Father then?"

Raphael gave him a confused look,

"Depends if you mean it."

Azazel took a step toward him,

"If I do? If I truly mean it? What then?"

Raphael shook his head, his eyes showed more pain now. Good. 

"It does not change anything."

"But why? I still love him, I still care for him. I do, I truly do. Brother please? Let me come home?"

Raphael flinched, the pain was overwhelming. The anger swirling with it.

"Don't call me that."

Azazel took another step closer,

"Let me come home, for I love him. I love humanity, I love all the creatures of this world. I love the nature that surrounds us."

Raphael didn't move, Azazel took another step they were within touching distance now.

"For I bowed to them, I taught them to save them. I loved everything he's created."

"You have not repented."

Raphael whispered now a reminder as much as it was an anchor for him to hold onto, the wind was cracking windows now. Azazel's hand came onto his cheek. Still Raphael didn't move. 

"Why must I repent when all I've ever done is love?"

Raphael blinked at him now, his pain and anger coalescing into a brittle guard.

"How can I repent when to love all his creation is to love Him?"

Raphael hand went to his sword, Azazel didn't care he got to touch him again. Besides he would be joining him.

"How can I repent when to love you is to love Him? When to worship you is to be at his feet, how can I repent Raphael when my love for you outweighs my need for revenge, destruction. For survival?"

Raphael pressed the hilt of his sword to his neck. There was tears in both their eyes now, Azazel was telling the truth, he loved him more than was smart.

"I am not God."

Raphael finally whispered, glass shattering around them.

"You are to me."

Azazel pulled him into a kiss ignoring the sting of the knife at his neck. Raphael stiffened, he braced to pull away.

"Please, please stay. Raphael stay with me. Stay with me I won't hurt another soul. You are all I need. Stay with me?"

Azazel was begging now, he hadn't planned that but then Raphael always had a way of surprising him.

Raphael stared at him, his eyes a hurricane of emotions, his mind a tornado of thoughts.

"I—"

"Please? I'll do whatever you want."

Raphael gaze hardened,

"No you won't."

"Yes I will."

"Repent."

"Raphael."

"You want to come with me, repent Azazel. Truly repent and you can have me for the rest of eternity."

Azazel went through the many scenarios in his head, he knew this street. Knew where his army lurked. But Raphael was fast. He wouldn't let him get away without serious damage. Did he really want that? Did he really want to repeat history?

"Repent."

Raphael's voice was low, a plea. Azazel's hand tightened on his cheek. He knew he had lied.

"I—"

"If you ever truly loved me, repent. Come back to me. Prove your undying love."

Raphael's eyes held him place. Healer eyes staring at him, through him. Honing on his only weakness. The one thing he couldn't get rid of.

"I repent. I shed the life of sin and corruption I have led. I supplicate myself at His feet. Will thou not let me return home? Will ye lord not let me bathe in His ever loving light once more?"

He was on his knees now, how he hated Raphael having this type of power over him. Something must have happened because suddenly Raphael's arms were around him. Tears falling onto his chest. He looked at Raphael confused too angry to really register what was happening. That was until Raphael kissed him.

The world exploded. The sound of the music filled his ears, the feeling of warm light on his skin, the pounding of Heaven coursing through his veins. 

They pulled away Raphael giving him a blinding smile.

"You did it. My Sunshine you did it. You came back to me. Thank you. I will never doubt your words again."

Azazel blinked the daze away, it was too much. All the feelings, all the sounds. He needed an anchor. He dove back for Raphael's lips, relishing in the familiarity and calmness with them. He had done it, he had gotten Raphael in the end, just not the way he had intended. It seemed he still had some power over him as well.


	7. Advantage

Raphael whistled unlocking their apartment door. His thoughts filled with the bliss of a weekend and having Azazel all to himself for three glorious days bride they both had to go back to the real world.

Raphael put his bag down and made his way to their living room as Azazel cursed and threw his phone missing Raphael by an inch. 

Raphael gave a tired smile, he was used to Azazel's moods.

"So how was your day?"

Azazel looked up from glaring at his hands and blinked. He gave an apologetic half-smile.

"Hey. What's up?"

Raphael rolled his eyes. He made his way to sit next to him. Pulling Azazel's legs onto his lap.

"What's wrong?"

Azazel's face hardened,

"People are idiots."

"Are you going to elaborate or do I need to get the emergency supplies?"

Azazel gave him a smirk it didn't reach his eyes,

"Depends. Are you the emergency supplies?"

Raphael snorted, his eyes turned serious.

Azazel sighed,

"Fine! Luce moved up the quota Mark without consulting me and now Daniel and Remiel are furious. They blame me when I had no idea. How exactly did your brother get by without a plan before?"

Raphael shrugged,

"His looks probably."

Azazel snorted,

"I doubt that, you're the hot one in the family. Anyone could see that."

Raphael could feel himself blush, a feeling of warmth pooling in his gut.

"Stop distracting me. So what happened next?"

Azazel sighed and moved his legs away, only to crawl in Raphael's lap. 

"I tried to get Luce to see reason and of course he didn't. Honestly if I knew he'd lose everything without me i'd leave and take Tamiel, Daniel, and Remiel with me."

Raphael stiffened, how dare he? Azazel deserved so much than being someone's pawn.

"So leave."

His voice was soft, his hands playing with the bracelets on Azazel's wrists.

"You wouldn't mind?"

Raphael looked up to see Azazel staring at him incredulously.

"Why would I?"

Azazel shrugged, 

"He's your brother, I mean I know you're relationship isn't as strained as it used to be but—"

"You matter more than he ever will Az."

Azazel stilled and stared at him,

"Wow. I knew you loved me but I didn't think you'd sell him out for me."

Raphael shrugged,

"You make mistakes yes, but you thought you were doing the right thing. Besides you never lied to me or used me. He did. It's why I forgave you the minute you asked me to."

Azazel smiled tears shinning in his eyes. They'd been doing so much better than before but still it was hard. 

"I love you know that right?"

Raphael laughed quietly,

"I might heard you say something like that a few times."

Azazel kissed him, making him gasp. Their tongues danced and Raphael was so close to tearing his clothes off when he pulled away. Raphael blinked and was about to pull him back,

"God I love you Raphael. You're honestly an angel sent from Heaven."

Raphael buried his face in Azazel's neck as his blush got stronger. He kissed him there softly.

"And your my sunshine Azazel, you remind me to always have hope. I loved you too. More than you'll ever know."

"Hmm, I might have some idea. But just to be sure..."

Azazel pulled their lips back to each other. Raphael smiled, holding him as tight as he could. This what Heaven must feel like.


	8. Appearances

Raphael sighed as he came into the room.

Azazel looked up from crushing a man's windpipe with his foot.

"Hey Raphi! What's up?"

The man gasped as Azazel stepped away from the man to come into Raphael's arms.

Azazel nuzzled his neck as Raphael smiled and kissed his neck. 

He looked up to see the gang leader watching him in shock. Raphael shrugged,

"I told you not to mess with him."

The leader nodded,

"Right. I uh—"

Azazel pulled away, his demure changing in an instant.

"So Frank we good here?"

"Y-yes of course Azazel sir."

"Good. I hope we won't be disturbed again?"

The leader shook his head,

"Of course not. I would never... No. You both won't be disturbed ever again."

Azazel nodded,

He turned to Raphael his eyes shinning,

"So Bob here,"

He gestured to the guy whose windpipe he had just tried to crush.

"Was telling me about a great ice cream place that opened up a few blocks away, want to go?"

Raphael nodded a small smile on his face.

"Yeah do they have Rasberry Apricot?"

Azazel nodded turning so their arms were linked.

"And Pistachio Passion-Fruit. Bob knows since his sister runs the place."

"Oh and Frank?"

Azazel turned back,

"I really don't want to have this hassle again. So... You spread the word yeah?"

"Yes of course Azazel sir. I'll personally make sure no one bothers you again."

Azazel tisked shaking his head,

"Oh Frank I wouldn't say things like that, I'll have to come for you if that's not true. You sure you can keep your word?"

Frank nodded vigorously again.

"Yes sir Azazel sir. I promise. I swear. I —"

"Alright Frank I believe you. Good luck."

"Oh it shouldn't be too hard to convince everyone."

Raphael smirked,

"He means hiding when you fail."

They both turned and left the abandoned warehouse. Once they were both out of hearing shot they both burst out laughing.

Azazel shook his head snickering,

"Humans."

"I can't believe they went after you."

"Yes well humans, they don't understand real power till they see it."

Raphael beamed and shook his head laughing.

"I'm sorry I missed our date Raphael."

Raphael shook his head and kissed Azazel's cheek.

"Don't worry Azazel. It's for a good cause. You were educating God's creation. I can't fault you for that."

Azazel tilted his head and smiled lovingly at him.

"But you matter more than God and his creation."

Raphael stopped walking, his heart lurching. Azazel waited while Raphael's breathing slowed. Right he could hear these things, _say_ them too. He had turned his back on them. He was happy with his choice but it had been only 100 years....

Raphael swallowed and sent Azazel a small smile. He opened his mouth but Azazel shook his head.

"Don't apologize you're still new at this. You'll get it, it's hard in the beginning."

Raphael smiled, his eyes brimming with love for the one angel who never lost faith in him, who never tried to manipulate him. 

Raphael's hand came to cradle Azazel's cheek. Azazel leaned into the touch.

"I love you. And I know I'll get eventually I have a wonderful teacher."

Azazel leaned toward him and kissed him softly.

"And I love you. Now and until forever."

He whispered against his lips. He pulled away and sent Raphael a dazzling smile,

"Now come on, I want some ice cream."

He tugged on Raphael's arm as they both laughed in the encroaching dusk. Happy and free after so long.


	9. Cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Combined two prompts for this one.

Azazel rose an eyebrow as he set his keys down and walked into the living room.

"Was there an occasion I missed?"

Raphael shrugged, taking another bite of the cake while sitting on the floor.

"Maybe."

Azazel sighed and quickly removed his shoes and bag before coming to sit across from his fiancé.

"So why are you on the floor?"

Raphael shrugged again.

"Maybe I find it better than a table."

"You're okay right?"

The question was soft laced with so much worry it caused Raphael to pause and look up at him. He sent his fiancé a loving smile.

"I'm fine Az just teasing, don't worry."

Azazel nodded relaxing.

"Don't tease me like that."

"Sorry. And the cake is from a coworker."

"They got us a cake because we got engaged? Wow I'm starting to love them more and more."

Raphael laughed and shook his head.

"No, for my promotion, youngest Chief of Surgery in the hospital's history."

"Raphael that's amazing! Why didn't you tell me sooner I could have gotten you something!"

Raphael smiled at him and laced their fingers together.

"You said yes, that's enough."

Azazel rolled his eyes,

"And everyone says _I'm_ the sappy one. So what flavor is it?"

Raphael smirks and slowly eats the icing on his fingers sensually.

"Me."

Azazel smirks,

"My favorite."

He whispers leaning toward him.

Raphael stopped his lips with his finger. A glob of icing rested on it.

Azazel beamed, his hand came to hold Raphael's wrist as he slowly licked his finger clean, his tongue swirling and sucking at the skin till it was clean.

Raphael felt his head hit the back of the sofa, his eyes fluttered shut.

"Az... If you keep doing that we'll never finish this cake."

Raphael felt a kiss pressed to his cheek in response.

"That's pretty good. Here have some more."

Raphael opened his eyes to see a piece of cake in front of him. He ate it greedily. Using more of his tongue than necessarily. Azazel shuddered.

"Keep doing that and you won't be able to walk straight tomorrow."

"When have I ever wanted to do anything straight?"

Azazel lost his control then. He moved the cake to side as he pinned Raphael's back to the sofa.

His lips engulfed him. Hot and coated with sugar.

"I think I found a new taste I like."

Azazel muttered into his skin a half an hour later as they lay naked on the carpet.

Raphael shifted so he could see Azazel's eyes.

"Oh? What is it?"

Azazel leaned over him on his elbow.

"You. Coated. In. Sugar. It makes you taste even sweeter."

Raphael laughed as Azazel beamed.

"You're such a dork."

Azazel hummed in acknowledgment. His face burying into the crook of Raphael's neck.

"So are you."

Raphael nodded, his hand coming to skim Azazel's back causing him to shiver.

"You're right. We'll be dorks together."

"Sounds like a plan darling."

Azazel said sealing the promise with a loving kiss on the lips.


	10. Video Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two prompts in one again. ;)

Raphael sighed and put his book down. He looked up to see Azazel completely engrossed in that stupid video game again. Raphael glared at the side of his head. Azazel didn't even acknowledge him, his fingers flying over the controls instead.

Raphael sighed again and took his legs off Azazel's lap intending to leave the room and do something else when he froze. He smiled to himself, he had just gotten the best idea ever.

He leaned over and wound his arms around Azazel's waist. Thanking Mother Nature for the heat because it meant Azazel was wearing a very thin tank top.

Still Azazel didn't look at him, he looked even more focused. Raphael growled inwardly. The first chance he got he was going to destroy that damn game, even though he was the one who got it for Azazel for his birthday.

Raphael leaned closer, his kissed Azazel's neck, slow and softly. He could almost swear Azazel flashed a small smirk before going back to serious concentration.

"Az."

Raphael whined, this time Raphael saw the flash of the smirk. He growled out loud and assaulted him with his mouth harder. His tongue running over the raised skin of old hickeys while his hands slipped underneath the tank top.

Raphael smirked into his neck when he felt Azazel let out a low whine. Raphael kissed his shoulder, his teeth scrapping over the skin there. Azazel didn't react.

Suddenly Azazel moved to stand and Raphael had just enough time to move back to miss being hit in the jaw by his shoulder.

"I finally finished the game! Yes! I'm just so happy I could —"

Suddenly Azazel turned to Raphael who was looking at him with a mix of annoyance and surprise.

Azazel leaned down and swiftly kissed him. His legs coming to quickly straddle his lap. His hands roaming from his cheeks to his neck and down to his waist. Raphael felt as his teeth bit down his lip, tugging on it. His tongue begging for entrance. Raphael could fell himself arching into his touch. His hands coming to fist in his hair, tugging and winding the strands through his fingers.

Finally Azazel pulled away and rested his forehead against Raphael's. They were both panting, their faces flushed.

Azazel grinned,

"I could just do that."

Raphael laughed half out of breath.

"Well don't let me stop you."

Azazel beamed,

"Okay I won't."

He dove back to his lips. This time though Raphael was ready, wasn't completely taken by surprise. He pushed back, his fingers slipping under Azazel's shirt. His nails scratching at his chest. He smirked as Azazel shuddered and moaned into his mouth.

Raphael's hand fisted in he fabric and tugged at it.

Azazel pulled away enough to tear it off. He smirked at him,

"Someone's eager. I should ignore you more often."

"Shut up."

Raphael pushed him till Azazel's back was against the couch cushion. Raphael toward over him, his arms and legs caging him in. His eyes wandered quickly over Azazel skin.

Azazel smirked resting his head on his arms.

"Please take all the time you need. I would say you should take a picture but I love seeing you look at me like that."

Raphael's eyes snapped up from admiring his abs to his face.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm beautiful."

"You are."

Raphael didn't wait for the protest, his hand instead came and cupped his cheek. Titling his face up for a sweet kiss. He felt Azazel smile into it.

He deepened it again. Shivering as he felt Azazel's arms came to wind around his waist, pulling him flush on top of him.

"Take it off."

Azazel mumbled as they broke for air. Raphael rolled his eyes.

"So demanding."

"You love it."

Raphael smirked as he shrugged his shirt off. Azazel's face changed in an instant. A dying man seeing water. He swallowed as Raphael tipped his head back closing his eyes. Azazel's fingers were feather light and _everywhere_. Touching, caressing, memorizing.

"If I'm beautiful what does that make you?"

Raphael's cracked an eye open and caught one of his hands by the wrist and brought his to lips kissing it.

"You tell me."

Azazel hummed, he seemed to be seriously thinking of an answer.

"Precious. Perfect. It makes you perfect."

Raphael chuckled and forced himself to not dispute the claim. He hated when Azazel didn't accept his compliments, he wouldn't be a hypocrite.

"Okay I'm perfect."

"I can tell you don't believe me Raphael."

Though his tone suggested anger Azazel was smiling. Raphael leaned over him.

"So convince me."

"Gladly."

Azazel pulled him back down. This kiss more sweet and loving than passionate.

They pulled away again. Their breathing erratic. They smiled at each other.

"I love you."

"And I you mi amor."

Raphael rolled his eyes.

"The sudden Italian because?"

Azazel shrugged,

"You can't dispute that saying terms of endearment in another laughed are more romantic."

Raphael shrugged in response. His voice dropped to a soft whisper. A secret between them.

"Anything you say to me is romantic regardless of the language Azazel."

He beamed when he saw Azazel's slow blush.

"Kiss me."

It was a soft order and since Raphael wasn't in the habit of denying him anything, he kissed him...and kissed him....and kissed him.


	11. Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College AU.

Raphael sat down at his desk, his hand absentmindedly scratching the tattoo on his right wrist. He was nervous, the caffeine in him making him jumpy.

A nudge in his shoulder made his heart skip a beat. He turned to see Naomi smirk at him.

"Looking for him?"

Raphael rolled his eyes,

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

The sound of shouting and laughter made Raphael turn away. Raphael tried to control his heart beat. It was erratic, hopefully he wasn't going to have a stroke. His mouth went dry as he saw that smile.

The flash of pearly white teeth, the smile that had been haunting him every night all semester.

"Balthie I'm serious! Let's do it!"

"Z while I know you're not an idiot where are we going to get that much alcohol?"

"Not on campus I'm sure. Right mister Mikelson? And Azazel get your boots off my table."

Raphael ducked his head as Balthazar huffed and Azazel smirked and took his feet off the table. He leaned toward the Professor.

"Oh come Nate, you know I would never break any of the rules. At least not unintentionally and so obviously."

The class snickered as the professor sighed and shook his head.

"How are you still allowed here Azazel?"

Azazel shrugged,

"I'm assuming my charm and wit have something to do with it. Right Naomi?"

Raphael stiffed, Naomi glared at him.

"Not even in your dreams snake."

Azazel chuckled.

"I prefer goats actually. But nice try."

His eyes turned away, away from him.  
Raphael's hands tightened on his notebook. What he wouldn't give to have those eyes on him all the time. All those smiles only for him. That laugh because of him....

Raphael took a deep breath and shoved the thoughts away. He would do it today. He couldn't put off, besides this was the last class before reading week. He needed to do it now. He didn't think he could find Azazel after that.

Eden U was big and it seemed to be just luck that brought them together, Raphael fiddled with his necklace as that thought crossed his mind. He hoped for once it wasn't. He wanted there to be more than luck to this, something more concrete — something like fate maybe?

Ugh. He sounded like Naomi when she got drunk or boy crazy. No. He was going to go there.

"Now if you're done disrupting Azazel can we begin?"

Azazel's eyes widened his arm motioned at the professor.

"Of course. I would never stop my fellow peers from learning."

Raphael smirked at that, almost freezing when he felt Azazel's eyes on him. He looked up to see Azazel beam at him. Raphael's gaze hardened and he turned back to the front of the room.

"You can't hide from me Raphael! I saw you smirk it counts!"

Raphael rolled his eyes, keeping his voice as bored as he could he said,

"The challenge was to make me smile, not smirk. Looks like you're going to lose."

"I don't lose!"

"Alright pay attention you lot. I don't want any last minute questions."

Raphael turned his attention to the lesson at hand. Inwardly smiling. If Azazel only knew how many times he smiled on the inside... It was one of the many reasons Raphael liked him.

"Why do you even like him?"

Naomi's question came back to him from a couple nights ago as his hand flew over his notebook. This class was an easy A for him, but he wouldn't be so rude as to not take any notes. He had an image to maintain after all.

Why did he like Azazel? On paper, on the surface he was brash, loud, entitled, reckless. But underneath that? Raphael remembered a day when he had been so drunk, had been drowning his sorrows after Orlando. He had been on the verge of blacking out.

It had been nearly 5am, Raphael had stumbled out of the bar to see Azazel with another guy. It had been the first time he'd realized he had a tiny chance. He must have made a noise or something because the next thing he knew Azazel arm was around his waist, his hand on his shoulder. His skin felt like it was burning through thin shirt between them.

"Hey Raphael. Little late to be out here no?"

Raphael probably would have made a smart comeback if he could think straight.

Instead he shook his head and mumbled,

"Orlando. Too painful."

He remember feeling the atmosphere changing in an instant. He felt numbly guilty for it. But Azazel was still looking at him, touching him. He wasn't making out with that other guy... So maybe he didn't feel totally guilt for the outcome.

"Did you —"

Azazel swallowed, he looked uncomfortable an emotion Raphael had never seen on him. He was compassionate.

"Did you have someone th—"

Raphael was already shaking his head,

"No. No one. But it still hurts. So many dead. How do you move on from all that wasted potential."

Azazel didn't flinch away from question like everyone else seemed to. He was courageous.

"You don't. You remember them. Every single life that ends to early you remember and then you live for them, for the potential that's being born into this world. You live for all of them."

"What if you can't?"

"You have to. You especially Raphael. You're special. You have so so much potential. The world would break without you."

Raphael guessed Azazel was drunk too. Why else would he look so emotional?

Raphael nodded.

"Okay. You know I want to be a doctor?"

"Really? Let's get you a cab and we can share our life stories while we wait. Sound good?"

Azazel didn't wait for an answer. He was a leader, wasn't afraid to take control. Raphael giggled thinking about what other instances he wouldn't mind Azazel taking control in.

Azazel gave him a odd look.

"Something you want to share?"

Raphael shook his head, his hand coming to hold onto Azazel's arm as the vertigo hit. He had just enough self-control to not blurt his feeling out.

He blinked and suddenly felt himself being gently placed into a dimly lit car.

"You know where you going?"

Raphael blinked at him. Azazel sighed.

"You would think a person like you would have planned for this."

"A person like what?"

"Someone who has their shit together."

Raphael burst out laughing.

"I think we've established I don't Azazel."

The sudden press of lips to his cheek made him freeze. He turned, his eyes wide.

Azazel shrugged as he leaned his arms on the car window.

"It's the first time you've ever said my name. I wanted to commemorate the occasion. Also I called Luce, that's where your going okay? He'll be waiting for you."

Raphael blinked and smiled at him. He was responsible, and sweet.

"Thank you."

Azazel flashed him a smile and wink and moved away from the car.

"Have one of you text me when you get there yeah?"

Raphael wasn't sure if he nodded but then he hadn't felt the car move either. All he saw was black. He came to when he felt arms come around him. He stirred and whined. The soft chuckle made him mumble,

"Luce?"

"Hey there Raphi. You can go back to sleep in sec okay? Just stay awake for a little while longer."

Raphael nodded, letting his brother pull him out of the car.

He felt himself being picked up bridal style and smiled and snuggled into his brother's shoulder.

Lucifer gave a small laugh.

"Aw you must be really drunk then. Don't worry Raph I have a lot of experience. I'm going to take care of you."

Raphael blinked coming back into the room. His hand was cramping and the class was filing out, well more like making a mad dash for the door.

Raphael spotted Azazel's messy hair leave and he quickly packed up and followed. Muttering a quick,

"I'll catch up with you."

To Naomi as she laughed whispeing

"Good luck!"

with a nod.

He came to the hallway and looked around.

"Looking for me?"

Raphael turned and put his mask on.

"Why would you think that?"

Azazel shrugged as he leaned against the wall.

"Because most people are."

He sent Raphael a more sincere smile, not at all like the ones he gave out so freely in class. Raphael was suddenly reminded of their drunken encounter all those weeks ago. How neither of them have spoken of, settling for the small glances and nods out of class.

"Will you go out with me?"

Raphael inwardly cringed. He didn't want to be so blunt. He had planned to bring it up slowly, grad —"

"It's about damn time."

Raphael blinked at him, his heartbeat steadily rising.

"What?"

Azazel shrugged and moved away from the wall to stand in front of him. Raphael was suddenly very aware how alone they were in the hallway. How silent it was.

"I've liked you since this semester started."

"You didn't say anything."

"Neither did you."

Raphael glared at his mischievous smile. However the suddenness with which it disappeared and that small smile was back and those eyes were serious, it all threw him.

"Of course I'll go out with you Raphael."

Raphael relaxed finally allowing him to smile. He rolled his eyes as Azazel's eyes sparked again.

"Does it still count if we're in the building but not in the classroom?"

"I'll tell you what if you can get me to smile on exam day I'll give you this one too."

Azazel beamed and turned to walk away.

"Okay. That shouldn't be too hard, I've made it my personal mission to get you to smile now."

Raphael rose an eyebrow as they walked down the hallway.

"Oh why?"

Azazel sent him an incredulous look,

"You're hot when you smile. Well you're hot with basically any facial expression, but you're especially hot when you smile. What has no one hit on you?"

Raphael looked away, he could feel his face heating up.

"Not so openly or aggressively."

Azazel threw his head back and burst out laughing.

"So that's a no then. Well get used to it Raphael. I'm going to do it a lot."

"You act as if we're already dating."

The sudden serious eyes were back but Azazel's smile was sly as he asked,

"Were you not aware that our date was going to be a success?"

Raphael shook his head as they descended the steps.

"How can you be so sure?"

Azazel shrugged as he opened the door gesturing for Raphael to go first. Raphael beamed — he was chivalrous too!

"I have amazing foresight. So where are we going on our first of many dates?"

Raphael shrugged as he shook his head.

"I have no idea. I didn't think I would get this far. Um how do you feel about a cafe?"

Azazel nodded as they walked to the main student center or Garden as everyone called it.

"Hmm. Intimate but still relaxed enough that there's not a lot of pressure. It sounds perfect."

Raphael rolled his eyes.

"I'm glad my choice stands up to your scrutiny."

"You know if you keep doing that your eyes will get stuck like that right?"

"You do know that's a myth right?"

"I didn't. Thanks for the info doc."

Raphael stilled.

"You remember that conversation."

Azazel stopped walking as well and nodded, his face totally serious.

"Every word. You remember what I said to you?"

Raphael nodded.

"Live for all the potential waisted."

"Which includes your own okay?"

Raphael smiled and nodded.

"I know."

"Hey Raphi, Azazel. I didn't know you two knew each other."

"We have a class together Luce."

Luci nodded letting Raphael go from his hug.

Azazel grinned and sent Raphael a wink.

"We also have a date at some point in the future."

Raphael rolled his eyes as Lucifer's eyes widened.

"You have a date with _him_?"

Azazel froze, he turned to Raphael worry etched in his voice.

"He knows right? Shit Raphael I didn't —"

"No it's alright. He knows. My whole family does. It's the fact that you'd be my first boyfriend that has him freaking out."

Azazel relaxed and sent Lucifer a wink.

"Well I'm going to take my leave. Luce do be sure to pass on my number m'kay?"

Lucifer stared between them in shock while Azazel waved bye to him and Raphael shook his head with a smile.

"I'm not going to tell who to date Raph. It's just, he can be unpredictable and hard to control."

Raphael's eyes hardened.

"It's a relationship Lucifer, not a pet. I don't want to control him I want to understand him."

Raphael decided to quit while he was ahead. He gave Lucifer a quick hug and left walking toward the garden. His smile bright.

He had a _date_. With Azazel! 


	12. Foreplay

"That can't be a thing."

Said Raphael as he sprawled on the air mattress in what will be their bedroom.

He felt Azazel sink down next to him, Raphael moved his arm off his eyes to see Azazel balancing on his knees over him. His eyes focused on his phone.

"It is! It's a trope in tv shows and stuff for new homeowners."

Raphael smirked and pulled Azazel down on top of him. Azazel gasped laughing as Raphael rolled them till he was on top of him. Pinning Azazel to the mattress.

"If you wanted to have sex with me Azazel you didn't need to make up a ridiculous excuse. I would gladly have my way with you any time day or night."

Azazel grinned and leaned up to kiss him.

"Well what's stopping you angel?"

"Seriously? Can you two not?"

They both turned to see Gabriel glare at them in disgust. Raphael smirked and turned to kiss Azazel as passionately as he could. He inwardly smiled as Azazel pulled him closer.

They finally pulled away at the sounds of chocking noises.

"What's wrong Gabriel? Sad you're not getting any?"

Gabriel shuddered and glared at Azazel.

"Ugh don't say that right after jamming your tongue down my brother's throat."

Azazel laughed as Raphael shook his head and huffed.

"Technically I jammed my tongue down his throat. And I would do it again."

Azazel winked at him. Gabriel shuddered.

"Ugh the images! No the images!!"

He then turned and ran out of the room. Azazel stood as they both laughed looking at where Gabriel had just stood.

"I forgot your brothers were here."

Raphael shrugged and grinned at him.

"Don't worry about it. I forgot they exist all the time when I'm with you."

"Will you both stop?! I don't want cavities!"

They smiled as they heard Gabriel's plea. Raphael pulled Azazel too him by his neck. The kiss long and filling them with fire.

Azazel looked at him slightly dazed.

"Not now but when they all leave I'll rock your world in every room in this house and,"

Raphael leaned even closer, his voice more of a whisper than before.

"If your lucky I'll even do it outside."

Azazel could only shiver and lick his lips.

Raphael knew how much he loved engaging in voyeurism with him. Raphael sent him a wink and pulled away to go to the living room. Azazel took a couple of deep breaths. Trying to will away all the beautiful images of their limbs tangled.

He groaned internally. He hated Raphael's twisted methods of foreplay sometimes.


	13. Dance

They stare. Even after all this time and no grace they recognize each other.

Azazel starts the dance as always.

"Well look who it is."

He tsks and shakes his head,

"You know it's not good to wander along at night. Bad things happen in the dark."

Raphael cocks her head. She doesn't smile.

"There's a full moon."

Azazel feels his pulse quicken. It's been so long since he's had an actual equal opponent.

"And you trust that? A false light?"

It's an easy opening, one Raphael takes.

"You talk of false light demon? I would of thought you had a shred of decency left."

Azazel smirks.

"Me? Decency? You sure you don't mean another demon? One that calls themselves the King of the Crossroads perhaps?"

Azazel doesn't comment on the misnomer of demon...yet.

Raphael smirks,

"It seems your uninformed, it's King of Hell now."

Azazel raised an eyebrow.

"It seems he has a good PR team if you're parroting that title for him. So how much did he offer you?"

Raphael glares, no lightning unfortunately. He always did like Raphael's lightning trick.

"I am not —"

"You're not what?"

Azazel takes a step toward her his voice challenging. She doesn't look away. Just watches him.

"I'm in no way shape or form doing anything for him or Hell."

Azazel smirks and shakes his head.

"You always were so careful to not have anyone use words against you. How is that going for you? When a Seraph can use words to break you, to kill you."

Raphael takes a step toward him. Azazel's expression doesn't change.

"Castiel got lucky. Once I have my grace —"

"See that's the thing with you archangels. You're all so dependent on your power for everything that once it's taken away, you're no better than a child."

Raphael's hands ball into fists as Azazel moves to lean against the brick wall. Azazel admires that quality in her, always has — her control and self-restraint. But he didn't want to see Raphael keep control, he wanted to see her lose it, be consumed by it.

"I do not need my grace to best you."

Azazel rose an eyebrow. Alright if she wanted to play short and sweet so could he.

He sighed in mock sadness,

"And we were having such a lovely conversation."

"Nothing about you or this conversation is _lovely_."

Her response quicker now. Something surged through him.

Sigh again. Yes control. Keep your cool. Don't let her get under your skin.

"Why do you gotta make it personal?"

Raphael stares at him for a long moment. Azazel can feel the mood shift, their dance has come it's inevitable end.

"It was always personal Azazel."

He stiffens, his eyes harden. He looks away but doesn't move from the wall.

"It didn't have to be."

Raphael dry laugh feels like needles on his skin. A sound like that wasn't suppose to come from the archangel — regardless of the vessel.

"Yes it did. There was a plan —"

Azazel snorted,

"Yes a script I know. Those two ripped out the pages and the Seraph set it ablaze with holy fire. I'm well aware of the plan _Raphael_. Need I remind you I helped orchestrate said _plan_?"

Raphael smirks at him and crosses her arms.

"Someone's bitter."

Azazel rolls his eyes and pushes off the wall.

"You would be too if you were bested by a damn gun."

Raphael's chuckle makes him stop dead and turn, it almost sounds like before. She's shaking her head and laughing.

He keeps his smile amused and light.

"Something funny?"

"You, bested by a gun. You who were able to seduce so many, who taught them war and weaponry were best by your own knowledge. It's honestly _pathetic_."

Azazel slams her against the wall. Raphael's eyes gleam in triumph.

"Oh, did I hit a nerve?"

She asks with a mock pout of innocence. He holds her in place, his hands on her shoulders. He mentally calms himself down. Control. Control. _Keep control_.

He smiles and steps away.

"You wish."

She laughs and shakes her head.

"I would never wish for anything concerning you."

Her eyes harden now. Azazel cocks his head.

"You sure I don't stalk your every waking nightmare?"

Raphael gives a small smile.

"You're not something I fear."

Azazel takes a step back. Her voice, her eyes. He turns away. It's deliberately soft now, Healer soft, _familial_ soft.

"Don't do that."

His voice is hushed. She smirks at the side of his head.

"Do what? Press an advantage?"

Azazel sighs and turns back to her,

"You can do better than use that. That's beneath you. Beneath either of us."

His ever present mocking tone bleeds away. His voice raw underneath. She stiffness.

"Yet we still call back to it. We can't seem to break this cycle."

"It's only a cycle if you choose to play. I'd like to think our dance has changed over the centuries."

"But the steps haven't."

"No they haven't."

They stand like that for awhile. Each against their own side of the alley. They stare up at the light polluted sky in silence.

"You were always too selfish."

Azazel's eyes go to Raphael. He blinks mentally making sure he heard that correctly. Was Raphael finally starting a dance?

"Always? I do have memories of coloring fledging wings, helping you on errands, and teaching Gabriel how to make sugar —

"Selfish in your belief. In your motives.  
Not actions nor feelings."

"Again the painting and sugar."

Raphael raises an eyebrow and looks at him.

"Not disputing the errands then?"

Azazel smirks at her,

"When I have ever hid how much I liked spending time with you?"

Liked. Yeah right. His only vice in existence had to be an archangel — it all sounded so poetically tragic when you thought of it like that.

He swallows and asks in amusement,

"Are you _that_ lonely you wanted to hear me say that?"

Raphael rolls her eyes.

"Please. More like indulgent. Besides who doesn't like hearing complements?"

"Hmm. Well in that case give me one."

Raphael's stares at him, her head titling to the side.

"How about no?"

Azazel snorts,

"Come on who's it gonna hurt? I promise I won't let it get to my head."

He adds in a mock whisper. She smiles a little wider.

"You're ingenuity. I always admired how no problem seemed too daunting for you to solve."

"Yes except being dead apparently."

She giggles at that. He smiles wider.

They stare at each other for a few moments.

Neither asking the question that's weighing on them. Why are they still standing here?

The screams of a man dying and a gunshot ring out. Neither of them seemed too surprised about it, this was Humanity after all.

"If I was too selfish, you were too blind. Tell me do you still bow for them?"

Raphael shakes her head, her voice soft. A confession.

"No. They are flawed, angry, vengeful. And above all weak."

"You always did hate weak things."

"Weak things that don't know how to live, to survive. Weak things deserve to be crushed and forgotten."

"Exactly. Yet still you didn't join us."

He didn't add the me for obvious reasons. He wasn't completely insane.

"I would never leave Michael."

"Speaking of which, where _is_ our resident Golden Boy? Stray too far off the path and get eaten by bears?"

Raphael tilts her head.

"Is the mix up intentional?"

"What do you think?"

She flashes a smile. Her voice sounds tired when she speaks again.

"He's adjusting with the Winchesters I think. Doesn't want anything to do with Heaven."

"So no apocalypse?"

"I didn't say that. But Lucifer is trying to wipe humanity or something as usual. Or was _trying_ to before Dad de-graced all of us."

Azazel nods, that makes sense.

"Have you met him yet?"

She asks. Azazel shakes his head.

"Or her for that matter. Not that I'm complaining. I kind of like the calm. Get to finally sit down and catch up on my reading."

Raphael's lips twitched before she can stop herself. He was still funny, of course he was.

"Anything good?"

Azazel shrugs,

"Been in the mood for fairy tales lately. So was reading Goldilocks before I decided to go on a stroll."

"In the worst possible neighborhood in a fifty mile radius? At night?"

"You know I like danger."

Azazel winks. Raphael stares, her face going blank.

"Like danger? You _coveted_ it."

"I didn't covet it. I—"

"Really? What do you call everything you've done? The lives you've played with? I might hate them but I would never destroy them. I have _some_ self-control."

"Well congrats on your damn self-control. What do you want a gold star? They're playthings, toys for our amusement. Or they should be."

"You haven't changed have you?"

"And you have? Still running the company line. Still following God and Michael like a damn puppy."

"Don't you dare."

"Or you'll do what? Lock me again? You have no —"

A fist collides with his jaw. Hard. He rubs it just having enough time to catch her wrist and throw her against the wall again.

Or he didn't.

He does catch her wrist, but she pivots them and slams him into the wall this time. His wrist held by her. She leans till her lips a breath away from his ear.

"Want to try that again sweetheart?"

He grins, they're both panting exerting their human bodies as much as they can. Everything stills, they lean in and the world explodes. Fire, gasoline, and every other chemistry cliche plays out. They're on someone's bed, clothes gone, nails and teeth their only weapons against unblemished skin.

They wake up sore and groggy. Neither of them move. This is different. This, in the new light looks almost innocent.

They smile at each other.

"Fancy learning some new moves?"

Hands on cheek, lips colliding. So chaste, so pure.

"I'd love to."


	14. Fate (Part I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Girl Meets World AU

"What are we doing Raphael?"

The question was quiet, even so Raphael took a step back. Though he probably shouldn't be surprised, he should have seen this coming. But neither of them ever defined anything. Ever.

Raphael closed his eyes and went back to when this whole saga began.

He had lived in Garden city with his family his whole life. It had always been his brothers and Father. So one day after one of their more explosive fights between all four of them, Father had forced them all apart. Raphael had ended up at Freedom Wilds — it was not somewhere he would ever gone but his dad had been short on options.

Everything that followed was probably a happy accident. Or fate. But as Raphael was a doctor he tried to not base anything on such things like that.

A dazzling pair of brown eyes had met his as his Father dropped him off while Gabriel waved bye as they both went to sign Raphael in.

Raphael had blinked, his hand had tightened around the strap of his backpack. He had never thought he'd consider brown eyes beautiful or dazzling, but here he was thinking those exact thoughts.

"Hi I'm Azazel. Friends call me Azazel."

Raphael cracks a small smile, and shakes the hand he was offered.

"Raphael."

Azazel nodded, and looked down and smiled. Raphael looked down and yanked his hand away. Azazel shrugged,

"It's okay. I liked holding your hand too."

Raphael relaxes. He knew rationally there was nothing wrong to how he was feeling, but unfortunately the bullies in his school didn't see it that way. And with the way Samael and Michael hovered around him he was lucky if he got any peace.

"Come on let me stay! I promise Raphael and I won't fight."

Azazel looked around him and smiled,

"That your brother?"

Raphael felt a wave of protectiveness.

"Yeah. Why?"

Azazel shakes his head,

"Relax, just wanted to make sure he wasn't competition."

He sends Raphael a wink and gives a delighted laugh at his face.

"You always blush like that angel?"

Gabriel had gone quiet which wasn't good, but Raphael couldn't help it. The attention and flirting was not something he was used to, and he wanted to take advantage of it.

"Only when I'm around beautiful people."

Gabriel lets out a low whistle and claps.

Azazel beams,

"Oh we're going to have so much fun together, you and I. We'll take this summer by storm!"

Raphael gives a small chuckle at that,

"You always this cheerful?"

"Only for angels. And you're the first one I've met so..."

He shrugs.

"Oh ask him out already."

Raphael jumps and turns to see his Father smiling at them while he fiddles with his keys. Raphael sighs and glares at him.

"Don't you need to take Gabe somewhere?"

He was being rude he knew but he was flustered. Gabe gives him a look of betrayal.

Azazel only laughs and it was like music to Raphael's ears. Raphael turns to apologize for his family only to see him give that smile, that small mischievous smile that would haunt his dreams all summer.

"He does have a point. There's a lot of queer kids here and I couldn't bare it if you found solace in someone's else arms. So Raphael would you do me the honor and go on date with me?"

Raphael blinks and beams. He screws up his courage and quickly leans over and kisses him gently on the cheek. He pulls away and grins to see Azazel's soft blush.

"How could I find solace in anyone else's arms when you outshine them all?"

Azazel duckes his head, though he smiling.

"And I thought I was poetic."

"You are, I'm just better."

"So not true."

"Wanna bet?"

"You're on Feathers."

They had been inseparable all summer. They had shared kisses behind the bunks, sat in the moonlight and talked all night. It almost felt like they had known each other all their lives.

Raphael had gone back every summer since. Till one summer everything had changed.

Azazel and he had been alone, loungeing on his bed, when Azazel had shifted and kissed him softly, gently.

"I love you Raphael."

Panic had seized Raphael's heart and he pushed off the bed, Azazel watched him — his face appeared bored, but Raphael knew him well enough to know he was keeping his panic at bay.

"I - I have a girlfriend Az."

Azazel raises an eyebrow,

"So what was this all an experiment to you? Because if it was I swear —"

There's a dry anger there. As if it's always existed, all it needs is a spark and some gasoline and —

"No. Never. I — I love you Azazel. I do. I just — I needed to tell you."

He had stopped pacing and turned his attention to Azazel. Azazel's eyes soften.

"So why are you telling me this?"

"I don't want to be labeled a cheater."

"So she knows?"

Raphael shakes his head and crawls back toward him and straddles him.

"No. But you do. Now you know who I have when I'm not with you."

Azazel tenses and looks at him.

"You — you're afraid to cheat on me? Raphael I've been with so many other people besides you. Since you."

He shrugs and traces Azazel's chest.

"Well now I know so it's okay. You're real Azazel, you're it."

Azazel pulls him close.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

A few days later they had sat near the lake the moonlight and Azazel had looked at him and smiled,

“I have something most people spend their whole lives searching for.”

“What’s that?”

“Someone who would give me the world if I asked. And it terrifies me.”

Raphael smiles and pulls him into a tender kiss.

"I'd give you Heaven if you asked Azazel."

Azazel had just pulled him close not saying a word.

That's the way it had been. Always. His summers were Azazel's. Hell he counted down to Moving In Day starting in March. His girlfriend, Naomi hadn't noticed, or if she did she didn't care.

They both had scholarships and medical books to study. Besides it wasn't like Azazel and he were exclusive.

He was excited, Gabriel chattered away about his friends and what new activity he was going to do that summer.

"No. I just - look Metatron figure it out, it's what I pay you for."

They both stiffen. Raphael closes his eyes. They didn't even have Michael or Samael here to distract them.

"Hey Gabe, —"

"Raphael would you marry Azazel if you could?"

Raphael turns so fast from the window he's surprised he didn't get whiplash.

"I - I - why?"

Gabriel shrugs going back to sucking on a lollipop from his seemingly endless supply.

"I don't know, you like him a lot. You count down the days till you can see him every summer."

"So?"

He inwardly cringes, his voice is too sharp. The last thing he needs is Gabriel crying or yelling back. Father surely wouldn't like it if they fought now.

Gabriel only shrugs again.

"I don't know it's probably nothing, but the way talk about him you never talk about Naomi."

"Naomi and Azazel are different people. I talk and think about them _differently_."

Gabriel doesn't answer and holds out a fresh lollipop to him instead.

"You want one?"

Raphael looks from it to Gabriel and slowly takes it. He sucks on it for awhile.

"These are good."

"Yes candy is good genius."

Raphael cracks a smile and leans his head on Gabriel's shoulder.

They come to camp shortly after that. The hug they both share is too long, so many things left unsaid.

Gabriel surprisingly pulls away first, Raphael is about to question why when he hears music,

"Raphael!"

He turns and almost stumbles to the ground. He's laughing and holding on tighter than he expected to.

"Azazel!"

Azazel moves them so Raphael is not in danger of falling, he smiles at him. His eyes suddenly softening.

"Hey."

Raphael fights the strong urge to kiss him.

"Hey."

He says equally quietly,

Gabriel pretends to gag. Azazel turns toward him and sticks his tongue out.

"You know Gabe you keep doing that and I'll never give you your present."

Gabriel crossed his arms.

"You don't even know what I like."

Azazel smirks.

"Well it has candy, and those gold coins so —"

"Raphael marry him or I will."

They all laugh it off, but there's a question in Azazel's eyes. A shift Raphael can sense as he holds his hand just a little tighter.

"Azazel how are you?"

His father asks ruffling his hair. Azazel beams at the attention.

"Wonderful Sir. And yourself?"

"I'm well. Take care of my son?"

Azazel rolls his eyes.

"You tell me this every summer Chuck."

"And you say every summer?"

"Yes sir."

Chuck nods and motions Gabriel inside. Raphael shoots Gabriel a concerned look, but Gabriel winks and turns to their father.

"Hey Dad can we play that new podcast you were talking about?"

Chuck pauses and looks back at him.

"You heard me talk about that with Mike? Uh sure Gabe, but it might be a little over your head."

Gabriel shrugs.

"Well if there's anything I don't understand I can just ask you right? Since you know everything."

Chuck laughs and turns the car on.

They drive off, Raphael shaking his head at Gabriel's smile.

"So that was different."

Raphael gives Azazel a quick kiss on the cheek before a look of confusion.

"You can tell?"

Azazel hums before pulling him along.

"Yeah, his shoulders were straight, and you and Gabe looked like you were drowning."

"How do you even —"

"You learn to read people Raphael. If it's the only way you get through the night without a bottle thrown at your head, you learn it so fluently you know it in your sleep."

Raphael's anger gets to him and he stops them. Azazel turns and blinks at him.

"How do you stand that? How do you not drown?"

"I can't. I refuse to die. To let it swallow me. So... I live for other experiences. You're one of them."

Raphael lets Azazel kiss him but doesn't reciprocate. Azazel pulls away and sighs.

"Raph we've been over this."

"No you hide things. No more. You tell me everything."

Azazel's eye has turned from lover to manipulator in a second.

"Oh yeah? What are you giving me in return?"

"Everything. I'll be honest with you too."

"Fine."

Raphael pulls him to sit on the ground.

"So what do you want to know?"

"What was that comment of marriage about?"

Raphael looks away cursing Gabriel in his head.

"Gabe asked me if I'd ever marry you, and well I didn't really say yes or no."

Azazel seems unbothered by this.

"Not one for marriage babe."

"Fine. So uh kids?"

Azazel gives him a look,

"We really talking about this?"

"Azazel. Please?"

"Okay, I don't know. Never put much thought into them. Though funnily enough I have names picked out. Want to hear them?"

Raphael smiles and squeezes his hand.

"I'd love to."

"Isaiah for a boy and Edna for a girl."

"Laughter and pleasure."

Azazel nods and smiles,

"The two things that you need to get through life."

They had gotten even close that summer. Fervent touches, manic smiles, hungry eyes.

Till it had come crashing down by their spot on the lake.

"Raphael what have you done? Why?"

"You think I'm perfect? Azazel it's all overwhelming. All the expectations, the numbness. Never knowing when he's going to fly off the handle. I - I want it to end. I —"

"No. No you don't get to quit. Not when compared to my home life yours is a goddamn _fairytale_."

Raphael had looked up with what Azazel had later had described as zombie eyes. Dead to the very soul.

"Don't you think you're being a tad selfish?"

Azazel had knelt down before him on the grass and torn off his shirt into strips while he spoke in fast whisper,

"Of course I'm being selfish. People like you need to exist Raphael. Angels don't just appear. I'm expendable b—"

"You're not."

Raphael says his voice more powerful than he had felt in days. He chalked it up to adrenaline and blood loss. But dead or dying no one made Azazel feel expendable. He was _anything_ but.

"You're _**not**_ expendable do you hear me?"

Azazel nods but he's not really listening.

"Okay fine. I'm not. So what made you fucking think you were?"

"I'm overlooked, I —"

"Not by me. Never by me. Look lets make a deal you live for me I live for you, okay?"

They had been young and naive and had agreed. It had even worked, he'd stopped cutting and Azazel had stayed mostly out of trouble. It was wonderful till it all suddenly wasn't.

"Azazel what do you mean it's your last time? We have two more years."

Azazel had shook his head, his eyes filling with tears.

"Raph I messed up. My dad had weed on him, and if the CPS caught him all of them would be gone. And I couldn't, I wouldn't allow that to happen. Not to them. So —"

"Tell me you didn't. Please tell me you didn't."

Azazel had looked away. Raphael's hands clenched. He wasn't particularly surprised, Azazel's parents (if you could call them that) had ran a foster home, where there could be anywhere from two to ten kids there at a time. Counting Azazel there was 12 now. Azazel himself had been adopted when he was 10, having been in the system for as long as he could remember. He had promised himself if he could help it no other kids would grow up in it. That the system would take any other children's innocence.

These other 11 had been with him the longest, practically family for all intents and purposes sans the signature on the dotted line. Azazel was the eldest, would do anything for them, to keep them from ever ending up back in the system. They all did that for each other. But drugs? To be caught with that meant —

"How long?"

Raphael swallows trying to wash away the lump in his throat.

"Ten years. Five for good behavior."

"Az."

"No. Don't. I can't bear a lecture from you."

Raphael looks at him slightly stunned than mentality chastises himself. Of course that's what he was expecting. A lecture, from him. He was the responsible one, the level headed one.

Raphael walks toward him and takes his hands.

"Az babe I'm not going to lecture you. Okay? It's not worth it. I just — lets the spend the time we have together."

Azazel nods numbly. Raphael pulls him on the bed and holds him close. Raphael speaks after a while,

"So why did the they let you come here anyway?"

"Good influence. The camp director vouched for me. The judge thinks if I'm here I'll confess that the weed wasn't mine, that I'll implicate him."

"Oh Sunshine. Why does all the heartache fall to you?"

Azazel had looked up at him, and smiled.

"Because I can handle it?"

"Yes you can."

They stayed like that for the rest of the night. Raphael had woken up around 1am and smiled as an idea took root in his mind.

"You know you gave me my first kiss?"

Azazel hummed and pulled him closer.

"I want to you to be the first for all of it. If I can't marry you, if I could never marry you, take that. Take my purity."

He had made it overly biblical he knew. But he didn't care. It these moments. In this lull of time they had lived countless lifetimes together. Felt emotions and seen things so much beyond their years. What was one more thing between them?

Azazel had looked up and Raphael had steeled himself to convince him.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

Azazel had leaned up and had brushed their lips together. The near constant sparks they experienced sprang to life. Azazel pulled him down.

As they crescendo Raphael swore he felt fireworks.

They did it many times after, as much as possible, as often as they could without getting caught. They experimented and explored as much as they could with the limited knowledge they had. Even then it wasn't enough. It was as if they were starved for love. Any kind of love.

Raphael and he parted on the last day. Chuck had heard about Azazel's predicament and had gotten Gabriel before bringing all three of his brothers to them.

He had taken Azazel to a restaurant and told him to order whatever he wanted. Azazel after making sure it wasn't a test had done jus that. They spent as long as they could together. Michael and him talking about strategy and this new game called Risk. Samael had insisted he call him by the family nickname — Lucifer and had proceeded to tell him all about how to survive prison. Azazel and Gabe had already bonded since they'd seen each other ever summer, but they continued to talk — about candy and the confectionary industry.

His dad even asked Azazel for some tips on descriptions for his stories.

They finally had to drop him back at camp. Everyone had been emotional, even Lucifer. Raphael had tried not to sob, but as they hugged for the last time, he couldn't help but feel like he was the one who was locking him away. After all he had the means to make it all go away, make all the pain be a bad nightmare.

Azazel had finally pulled away, they both were sobbing.

"Remember, for each other okay? The world needs you."

"I know. I know."

Azazel had gripped his waist then tightly, almost painfully so.

"Angel do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"Be happy. Go to college, get married, just go have a life. Please don't wait for me."

"Azazel I — I can't. No I need you."

"Shh babe I know. But I will not bring you down with me. Go. You have my permission."

Raphael had shook his head, their kisses sloppy and wet. Azazel had clung to him.

"Promise me."

It had been an order then, Raphael never bowed to any of his orders. Ever. But this time was different and his strength was leaving him.

"Okay. I promise. But you need to promise me something. When you get out look ahead. _Be **something**_ Azazel. Okay?"

Azazel had nodded though his eyes clouded with uncertainty.

"And what should I be?"

"I don't know. A lawyer? You have a ways with words."

"A lawyer."

Azazel had repeated while nodding. As if to taste the words to feel his future on his tongue.

"Okay when I get out I'll be a lawyer and you'll see my name on TV."

Raphael had given a near hysteric laugh at that.

They had slowly pulled away staring at each other as Raphael had drove away. It had been the last time they had ever seen each other.


	15. Fate (Part II)

Just like the first time Azazel had came into his life. The second time was a whirlwind and blind-sided him.

He and Naomi had been in Central Park when Edna had suddenly disappeared. They had been frantic, looked everywhere Isaiah in tow when,

"Daddy?"

Raphael had turned and pulled her into too tight of a hug.

Before he could admonish her he heard a voice that he never thought he'd hear again. 

"You know I'd say you should watch her, but she reminds me too much of Gabriel for that."

Raphael had let go and turned so fast he nearly fell. The low laughter and strong arms steadied him. Eyes like molten chocolate. That mischievous smile.

"Az. Azazel how? What? When?"

The last question is more forceful.

"Five years. Apparently it had been a drug ring."

Raphael crossed his arms,

"And you'd known?"

Azazel shrugged,

"No? Not really. But I got all my brothers out of the deal. So... All's good."

Raphael's eyes narrow and he swears if he was an angel they'd be lightning and thunder in the sky.

"Well why are you in GC?"

Azazel is about to answer when a voice interrupts him.

"Raphael did you find her?"

They both turn to see Naomi turn the corner with his son. Azazel finally pulls away, Raphael fights against the impulse to grip his hands.

"Is that her?"

His voice is soft.

Raphael nods curtly and closes his eyes. It's too much.

"Hey breath. Remember one thing at a time."

It's low and quiet and Raphael wants to run.

"Naomi Azazel, Azazel Naomi. Nia Az-Azazel is the one who found her."

Naomi turns a wide eyed and grateful state into a glare as she looks from Azazel at her daughter.

Azazel clasps his hands behind his back and rocks on his feet. A mechanism to look in control or to keep from touching him, Raphael wasn't sure. Either way he wanted to touch by him, felt the memories coming wave after wave.

"So what at they're names?"

Raphael beams at that, desperately wishes they were alone but continues the charade.

"Edna and that's Isaiah."

Raphael motions to his son, Azazel stills for a split second. Too many emotions fly through his eyes. Shock, pain, guilt, and finally joy.

"Hey there bud. What's up?"

Azazel crouches in front of Isaiah and Raphael takes the opening and runs with it.

He swiftly moves away to crouch in from of their daughter. He adds his own words of parenting, but even Naomi can tell he's off. He's not listening, how can he when the music of his dreams is behind him?

Naomi and he straighten. They look at each other. Naomi blinks and turns to Azazel.

"Thank you. I don't know what I would have done — would you like to come by our home for refreshments?"

Azazel looks up, his surprise well hidden save for the brief twitch of his fingers.

"I would love to." 

They walk in silence, too many questions swirling in Raphael's head. It's too loud. His hands twitch, the nails scrapping against the skin of his wrist.

"So Raphael no questions?"

Raphael turns to him as they cross the street.

His eyes aren't on the road, or looking at Raphael's face. They're on his wrist and Raphael's lowers arms.

"So what are you doing now?"

Azazel shrugs, and Raphael resists the urge to strangle him.

"Luci saved me, I work for him — what are you doing? Raphael give me my phone!"

The family ducks into a small park, away from the loudness of the city as they can get.

"Password?"

"Summer camp."

Raphael looks up at him in surprise.

"It's also the day I got released."

"What do you do now?"

Raphael asks as the phone rings, 

"Lawyer."

Raphael's fingers twitch. He did it. He took his advice! He moves toward him only for a voice to sound into his ear for the first time in years,

"Hey what's up?"

"How could you not tell me."

"Raphael? How? Wow you two are seriously the very definition of star-crossed."

"Lucifer."

"I didn't have your number and I wasn't about to reach out when you obviously weren't paying attention."

Raphael closes his eyes against the sting of tears.

"Lucifer that's not fair. The truth."

He sighs, his voice softer now.

"You were happy, I couldn't jeopardize it, I won't jeopardize that."

Azazel tries to snag the phone away but Raphael simply moves away.

"Lucifer if, how are you?"

"Seriously? You want to have this conversation now? Over the phone?"

"Samael last I heard Amara took you in, what happened? Did she kick you out?"

He barley stops himself from adding "too".

"No. Look I left, she wasn't helping, they both used me. Apparently it runs in the damn family. I don't mind telling my side of the story Raph but not over the phone, maybe over lunch? I could meet the kids —"

"No. You're not meeting them."

Raphael's tone was firm and Azazel cringes away. Raphael's realizes with a start that Azazel remembers him as optimistic, idealistic, and young. Not closed-off and terrified of rejection.

"But I wouldn't mind lunch, actually I'd love that. We have a lot to catch up on brother."

His tone was softer now. 

Lucifer sighs and agrees. Though even Raphael can tell it's all for show. He's worried he'd run again, hide again, try to die again. 

Raphael hands the phone back, Azazel stares at him for a long moment before turning to Naomi. 

"So Naomi tell me all about Raphael's and your adorable children."

She smiles and they walk down the street, the children following, prattling next to him. Raphael leans against the storefront and closes his eyes. He breaths in and out, in and out. Finally the world stops spinning and he moves again.

He needs to get Azazel alone, so they could talk, really talk. But he didn't dare bring it up. Azazel stays for a few hours and is about to leave when his phone rings. He smiles at it and Raphael's heart flips. He knows that look, it was the look Azazel used to give him.

Raphael suddenly hates whoever's on the other side of that phone call with a burning passion. 

"Hey Bal. Nah just catching up with some old friends. What's up? Yeah okay."

"Who was that."

And Raphael closes his eyes, his son is young, both his children are. Ones five the other 14. Still they didn't need this now. But he doesn't stop Azazel who bends down and smiles at him.

"My boyfriend."

Naomi pauses at the sofa, Edna looks up from her phone. She furrows her brow. But it's his son that speaks first,

He giggles.

"You can't have a boyfriend."

Azazel's eyes go to Raphael and for the first time Raphael can't read them. He tries not to panic. Or at least not to let it show.

Azazel had already turned to Isaiah and he sits in front of him crossed legged.

"Why can't I have a boyfriend?"

Raphael is impressed Azazel doesn't get self-righteous.

"Because it's weird."

Azazel tilts his head and smiles,

"You know in some places your mom and dad are weird?"

Raphael knows that's a lie but he doesn't mind. Naomi opens her mouth but Raphael places a hand on her shoulder and shakes his head.

"It is?"

"Mmhmm."

"No it's not. It can't be."

"Why?"

"Because — because they love each other!"

"And I love Balthazar."

Raphael tries not to break the piece of sofa his other hand is resting on."

"But —"

"Isaiah, listen to me. Love is love is love. No matter who or what you love it's okay. As long all people involved are happy it's okay. You understand me?"

It's Edna that answers,

"But the law."

Azazel shrugs,

"Never been one for marriage. Besides I don't need a law to tell me who I married or validate my relationship."

Raphael almost laughs at how inconspicuously Azazel tries to hide how he's talking about them. It's almost painfully obvious.

Edna seems to go quiet at that. Azazel rises and Raphael finally sees an opening.

"I'll hail you a cab Azazel."

"It's really okay Raph —"

"I insist."

Azazel's eyes harden for a second before he gives a shrug and an easy smile. Raphael's feel his heart sink that move was a classic of Lucifer.

"Suit yourself. But are you paying for it."

"Not even in your dreams. Now come on."

They don't speak the whole way down to the lobby and even as they get outside. Finally Raphael breaks it.

Raphael smiles and let's his guard down. Their hands intwine messily, too easily. The grip tight enough it could break bone.

"Did you mean that?"

"Does it matter?"

"Azazel it does."

"Why?"

"Because I need to know if you're happy."

Azazel looks at him and Raphael realizes he's changed too. Raphael can see it now. He's more guarded, as if he's been burned by too many people before. Raphael suddenly wants a list so he can start righting the wrongs.

"I'll tell you if you tell me. So Raphael tell me are you happy?"

Raphael doesn't have time to say answer, the cab had arrived. He's not sure if he even had answer ready. He decides not to dwell on it.

That night after he had called both Michael and Gabriel he sits in bed and tries to read and not focus on the shadow under Azazel's eyes and think if this Balthazar is making sure he's taking care of himself.

"So that was him?"

Her voice is quiet, but still Raphael jumps. Raphael looks up and places his reading glasses on his nightstand.

"Uh yeah. So what did you think?"

That fall had been emotional one for him. The next spring he had forced himself to sit Naomi down and tell her everything. She had got angry as he expected, had kind of seen other people as well. But Raphael guessed it was the emotional intimacy that frightened her the most.

She sits next to him on the bed and stares at him for a moment.

"You never told me he was so personable."

Raphael chuckles and tries to ignore the irrational swell of pride that comment gets.

"Yeah he's always had a way with people."

Raphael looked away he didn't know what else to say.

The light shut off and they were blanketed in darkness.

He didn't sleep, too many memories. Too many ghost touches. He finally got up out bed at 4am.

He stared at his phone for a long time and hated himself for dialing. Though maybe not so much since Azazel picked up on the first ring.

"Hey."

Raphael debated asking if he had been woken up because of the phone, but he sounded too awake. So Raphael settled for asking,

"How long?"

"All night. You?"

"Same."

"So why did you call?"

Raphael flopped onto the couch and sighed.

"I needed to hear your voice." 

He was expecting a laugh, a light jab. Instead he heard a sigh,

"Yeah I know the feeling."

They sat like that for a while. Raphael was slowly relaxing into the silence when Azazel's quiet voice floated through the phone.

"So I have questions. What happened after?"

Raphael blinked slightly disoriented. He decided with the more pertinent information first.

"She knows."

Azazel sighs,

"Well I wish I had known that sooner I could have made a better impression."

"You were fine. She said your were personable."

"Personable? Jeez I feel so loved."

"Quit being a dork."

"You love it."

They both paused, too close to how they used to be. But Raphael answered anyway, his voice too quiet.

"Yeah I do."

Azazel doesn't say anything for a while. 

"In case you were wondering I'm smiling because of that comment."

"Wish I could see it."

"I could send you a picture."

"Nah, it would be a poor imitation of the real thing."

Raphael grins when he hears that laugh.

"There it is."

"It's been so long since I've laughed like that. Thanks."

"Anytime."

"I didn't mean it like how you think."

Azazel says after awhile. Raphael closes his eyes. Did he really want to revisit this? 

"I'm glad."

Yes he did. By God he did. They both needed closure if nothing else.

They spent the rest of night or morning dozing on and off. Finally at 9am Raphael reluctantly said goodbye.

"Bye Raphael."

"Bye Azazel."

Neither decided to ask why it was so emotional. Raphael rose from the couch and started to prepare some breakfast.

"Daddy! What are making?"

"Pancakes darling want one?"

Edna climbed up on the stool and giggled.

"It's a ready mix right?"

Raphael rolled his eyes in mock exasperation.

"Yes, yes it is. Don't worry I won't burn the kitchen down."

"What a relief."

Said Naomi coming into the kitchen. Raphael smiled and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hey you."

Naomi gave a sleepy smile as she went to the coffee maker.

Edna sighed as she watched them.

"I want that."

"What my dear?"

"What you both have, a true love story."

Raphael put on a smile not daring to see Naomi's reaction.

"Well you'll get it eventually."

"Edna!"

A sing-song voice called from behind their front door and Edna sprinted away to see her best friend Mana staring at her.

"Mana! What's up! Guess what?"

They chattered on for a while, Raphael tuning them out till,

"Yeah his name is Azazel and he's a friend of my dad's."

"But he's a lawyer, that sounds boring."

Raphael had already had his phone out before he realized what he was doing. He locked it and put it back in his pocket. Luckily for him it rang anyway.

"Hey. What's up?"

"Do you have an idiot sibling?"

Raphael chuckled.

"Uh not really, Luci would be considered that I guess or Gabe why? What did one of your brothers do? Nothing serious I hope?"

"Nah just drama and I can't deal with it. Hey can I come over? I need to go over a medical chart."

"Only if I get to go on the stand."

"Raphael - you know what sure. I can't wait to see you sweat."

"Shut up."

Raphael hung up with a smile. 

"Daddy who was that?"

Asked Isaiah walking into the room, a hand over his face, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"That was Azazel."

"Uncle 'Zazel coming over?"

"Yeah he is. Now eat your breakfast."

Mana beamed and shot Edna a look.

"Finally I want to meet this long lost friend."

Raphael rolled his eyes. Naomi came back to the kitchen dressed in scrubs. He smiled at her.

"How longs your shift?"

"I'll miss Azazel's visit. Do tell him I wished I could be here."

Raphael's fingers curled against the wooden cabinet behind him. But he nodded with a smile.

So she had guessed, oddly he didn't feel guilty. If anything he didn't particularly care. He should probably look to understand that but —

"The bells ringing!"

Naomi's lips formed a small pout but she went to open the door. 

Azazel leaned on the doorframe and smiled at her.

"Hey Naomi, what's up?"

"I have a shift at the hospital."

She moved past him, Edna and Mana shared a look. Even they could tell she was upset. But Raphael watched as Azazel came into the room and immediately frowned.

"Please tell me that you use the kitchen with supervision."

Raphael rolled his eyes a grin on his face.

"It's a mix, even I can't burn that."

Azazel gave him a look and swiped some of his pancake. He chewed and swallowed it before saying,

"If anyone can find a way to burn a mix it would be you Raphie."

Raphael tried to suppress the automatic grin at hearing him call him that.

"Shut it Zazel."

He said as he moved around the breakfast nook to the couch.

Azazel followed him with his eyes, his eyebrow rising as he asked.

"Zazel? That's a new one."

Raphael shrugged and turned back to him.

"Isaiah's nickname for you."

Azazel beamed and turned to Isaiah. 

"Well in that case I'd be honored to be called that. But only by you okay? It'll be our special nickname."

Isaiah giggled,

"But I need a nickname."

Azazel leaned away and tapped his chin,

"Hmm, how about perfect? Nah that's not fair to your sister. Oh I know! What about Isa?"

Isaiah nodded enthusiastically and reached his arms out to Azazel who picked him up and swung him around.

Edna and Mana laughed. Raphael watched with a small smile and tried not to dwell on how right this felt.

"You do realize he's covered in syrup right?"

"I'll give him a bath if you want. You must be exhausted from your shift."

Azazel turned to Raphael, fitting Isaiah on his hip. Mana narrowed her eyes,

"How do you know how to wash a kid?"

Azazel shrugged,

"Raised most of my brothers. The youngest came to us when I was 13. I was the one who gave him the most baths."

"Tamiel right?"

Azazel's eyes lit up and Raphael wished he had a camera because they rivaled even the most beautiful night skies.

"Yes! You remember."

"Did you really think I forgot Az?"

His voice had relaxed, Azazel smiled at him.

"I had hoped not. Now come on Isa let's take a bath."

"I don't wanna."

He squirmed out of Azazel's grasp onto the floor. Azazel pretended to sigh in resignation.

"Well okay, but you'll never hear my epic story."

"Is it good?"

Azazel shrugged,

"I don't tell people who are dirty."

He turned from Isaiah to Raphael who was leaning against the back of the couch.

Azazel walked toward him, his eyes lingering on the right tank top Raphael wore over his sweat pants. Raphael tried not to smirk.

Azazel winked at him as he passed him.

"So here's the medial file. I need to know if there was any foul play that could have happens while my client was in prison."

"Who's the client?"

"Nice try Ra —"

"Okay fine, I'll take a bath!"

Azazel ignored Isaiah. He continued to tell Raphael about the conditions of the case, finally he looked down at Isaiah who was tugging on his arm.

"Yes?"

"I want to the story!"

"Well you're going to have to wait Isaiah. I'm talking to your father now."

"But —"

"Listen to your uncle Isaiah. Go wait quietly."

Isaiah pouted and stomped off. Azazel and Raphael caught each other's eyes and smiled. Neither thinking back to their conversation about kids.

Two more years were spent in this odd balance. Balthazar and Azazel becoming the "fun" uncles. Raphael even got to meet some of Azazel's brothers - Tammy (the baby) and Abseel (the mini-him according to Azazel)

Things were good, great even. His week was spent working and then going out for coffee every Saturday to catch up. Neither tried to think of how much of like a date it felt like.

He started to follow Azazel's cases, and sure enough one day he got a excited call at 6 in the morning.

"Az? Is everything alright?"

"Raphie guess what. You know that child molester case? Well we got it and I'm going to be on TV!"

Raphael rubbed the sleep from his eyes,

"That's great sunshine."

He'd realize later his slip up, but for now he was to tired to notice. Azazel was quiet for a long moment. When he spoke again his voice sounded emotional and wistful.

"You know I think you're not just my guardian angel, you're also my good luck charm."

"Well I'm going to need some compensation."

Azazel's voice was amused.

"Go drink some coffee, we'll talk on Saturday."

He had hung up after that. 

Weeks later after Raphael had treated him to dinner as a congratulations their quiet dynamic hit a speedbump in the face of news,

"The Supreme Court justice have voted 5 to 4. Gay marriage is now legal in all of the United States."

Raphael couldn't believe it. He just stared at the tv, his face frozen. 

"Raphael? Honey are you okay?"

Raphael tried to hide his tears, but he was too emotional to speak. He instead gestured to the TV. Naomi looked surprised to almost sad? Raphael couldn't fathom why, so he didn't.

Today was his day off, he quickly dressed and left, waving to the children. His finger was already hovering over Azazel's name before he even got to the elevator.

All he heard was laughter, joyous laughter. Raphael couldn't even make a wiry quip. He was too emotional.

"I'll be there in a couple minutes."

Raphael hung up and just rested his head against the wall. The ding of the elevator some later made him turn his head. 

They stared at each other for a long moment, the next thing either of them knew they were clinging to each other. Sobbing wether from happiness or something more.

Finally they pulled away, their foreheads resting together. They finally pulled away.

They walked to Raphael's apartment and Raphael looked in time to see their hands tangled, Azazel hastily removed his.

Raphael gave him a amused smile,

"It's okay I liked holding your hand too."

Which earned him a roll of Azazel's eyes.

"Come on Romeo."

"What does that make you?"

Azazel gave him a look as he opened their door.

Naomi was the first to speak.

"Congrats Azazel."

"Thanks Nia."

Raphael nudged him,

"So when will you be proposing to Balthazar?"

Azazel snorted and crossed his arms.

"We're not that serious."

"You've been together for three years."

Azazel shrugged,

"Oh come on Az, you should get married."

"Nah, not for me. Besides I know an epic love story when I see one. Ours isn't it."

Raphael's eyes softened,

"You can't keep waiting for that."

"Your right. Any other godly advice I should be taking?"

Raphael snorted and rolled his eyes.

"I'm not God."

Azazel gave him a look, causing them both to chuckle and shake their heads.

"What I would love to hear the end of that joke."

Azazel shook his head,

"You don't want to know the ending to that sentence."

Raphael saw Mana nudge Edna out of the corner of his eye. Edna turned to her and shook her head while Mana nodded and gave her a look.

That night he was drinking some beer when he saw Mana making her way to their door.

"Does she believe you?"

"No."

Raphael nodded, 

"Good."

"So is it true?"

Raphael shrugged and put his bottle down,

"It's none of your business."

"But -"

"I won't repeat myself Mana."

Mana huffed and left.

That night Naomi asked the question he knew and hoped she wouldn't.

"What's the punchline?"

"You are to me."

Naomi stilled and Raphael shrugged,

"If you didn't want to know you shouldn't have asked."

"I'll give it to you, you know. If you wanted a divorce."

Raphael blinked and stared at her.

"Naomi."

"I can't keep doing this. The worst thing is I can't even hate him. He's wonderful with the children and makes me smile. But you need to commit to either me or him."

He opened his mouth only for her to shake her head,

"Just think about it okay?"

He sighed and nodded.

He called him that night,

"What's up?"

"She wants a divorce. Or well she's giving me one if I want it."

"Shit."

"I know. And I mean I can't I —"

"They'll suffer I know. Believe me a stable home is best for everyone."

Raphael nodded and then realizing Azazel couldn't see him said,

"Yes my thoughts exactly. Just thought you needed to know."

He didn't tell him about the choosing part. He couldn't lose Azazel again.

"Look ill talk to her and remind her what I said that first time. I just want to be in your life, I don't want to —"

"I know. I can't lose you either. And when did you both go behind my back and talk?"

Azazel only laughed.

"Oh you innocent angel."

"I'm not innocent."

"Whatever you say."

As if the weekend get any worse Gabriel called him at 9 on Sunday.

"Dads in town."

Raphael groaned, they all had slowly cut off ties with him. Michael being the last one - haven't spoken to him in a little over a year.

"What are you still his little messenger?"

"He's here to meet a friend. A Dean Winchester."

He ignored Raphael's barb.

"How long is he staying Gabe?"

"Don't know. Heard through Dean's brother Sam. Didn't get details."

Raphael groaned again.

"Fantastic. We can't have Michael go running back to him."

"Yeah I know. I'll call Luci make sure he keeps an eye on him. Oh Raphael?"

"Hmm?"

"Congrats."

Raphael beamed,

"Thanks little bird. Now go fly away."

Raphael hung up and went to get ready for their weekly coffee shop meet up. Neither of them brining up how it was a little too late.

Six weeks later Raphael and his family along with Mana were at the airport on a trip to Hawaii when he heard a voice he would never forget.

"Gabriel slow down. Is he okay?"

Raphael stalked over to him before anyone could stop him or know where he was going. He didn't spare his aunt a glance.

He snatched the phone away from his father.

"Gabriel why are you talking to him?"

"Raphael! Uh no reason."

"You're a terrible liar, even over the phone."

Raphael got distracted when he got a call from an unknown number on his phone. Normally he would never answer but something compelled him to.

"Hello?"

"Raphael? Oh thank God. It's Balthazar, Azazel's in the hospital."

Raphael felt himself freeze. He clamped down on the panic.

"What happened?"

"He was on his way to a clients when he was jumped. Three broken ribs, a sprained tailbone, and a gun shot to the chest."

Raphael felt himself sway,

"Bal-Balthazar is he—"

Raphael couldn't even finish that sentence.

"He's stable. But please can you come here? I know you're off and I apologize if I'm —"

"I'll be there. Just give me the room number."

"225. Thank you Raph—"

Raphael hung up and turned to his father.

"I-I take care of them?"

Chuck nodded. Raphael jumped as Naomi placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Honey what's wrong?"

He shook his head, he was close to breaking down right there in the terminal. He felt tears begin to fall down his face as the children came toward them.

"It's Azazel. He's in the hospital. Critical condition - Naomi I have to go. Please, I'm so sorry."

Naomi closed her eyes as Edna and Mana shared a look. Honestly Raphael didn't care at this point.

She sighed and opened them.

"Okay let's go."

"I-I-what?"

"I'm a doctor too. Let me help you. Besides I can't bare the thought of him dying."

It felt like years before Azazel was in stable enough condition to allow people. 

It was 2am when he finally felt the grip on his hand tighten. And the raspy words,

"Hey angel."

Raphael broke. He shook his head, checking his vitals for the umpteenth time.

"I don't want to be your angel. I don't want you to go to Heaven. I don't want to be away from y —"

"Hey, hey shh. It was a few minor scrapes, I'm fine."

He was babbling. He should really get Balthazar. But apparently neither of them were in the sanest condition."

"Fine? Azazel three broken ribs, a fractured tailbone - you could have been paralyzed! Not even counting your gunshot! Don't deny it I saw the chart."

Azazel rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Damn interns. Don't know how to do their job."

"They did. They do. Hence why I'm here and not on rounds."

"So he finally awake then? Azazel you ever do that to either of us I'll kill you myself."

Azazel's eyes lit up.

"Luci?! Oh right you both were going to reconnect soon."

"Yeah. You picked one hell of a day to land in the hospital."

Azazel rolled his eyes.

"Yes because I planned to get blind sided by a couple of guys. Lucifer honestly you're the devil what the hell kind of bad luck was that?"

Lucifer shrugged and winked. Raphael groaned and placed his head on Azazel's arm.

"Well maybe if you had done what I asked we wouldn't be having this conversation — kidding Raphael. Kidding."

Lucifer quickly back pedaled with Raphael's glare.

Raphael sighed and kissed Azazel on the forehead. He rose from the chair and went to give Lucifer a hug. Lucifer held him back. His arms suddenly holding him tightly.

The flat line made them freeze. Raphael gazed at him for a second before his training hit. 

"I need a crash cart! Code blue!"

He slammed his hand on the side of bed. And ran out of the room. Lucifer went from shock to rage.

"Hey I promised him you wouldn't leave him. Don't make me out to be a liar."

Lucifer quickly sidestepped the doctors and nurses. He tried to catch Raphael's eye but he wasn't looking at him — his sole focus was on Azazel.

"Give me 5cc. Clear!"

Lucifer leaned his head against the opposite wall. He could feel the tears. He was pretty shocked to be crying over Azazel like this, but then he had been the one to save him. His only really success in the shit storm that had been his life choices.

"Mister Novak call it."

Raphael ignored them.

"Mister Novak. Mist —"

"With all due respect sir I won't give up on this patient just because it's convenient for you. Again. Hit me again Naomi dammit!"

The sound of the defibrillator sound like thunder in the tense quiet.

Lucifer felt his phone vibrate. He checked the message to see it was his aunt.

"What happened? Is Azazel alright?"

"He was fine then crashed. He didn't make it."

"Oh God. Hold on."

"Lucifer?"

"Auntie he's spiraling and I don't know how to save him."

"Raphael?"

"Yes! Who else would I be talking about?!"

Meanwhile Raphael's superior was slowly reaching out and pulling the defibrillator away from him.

"Mist — Raphael. Raphael he's gone."

"No he can't be. He promised. He wouldn't go to Heaven without me. He promised."

Raphael was pulled away, he was shaking. Suddenly everyone froze.

"No way."

Lucifer breathed into the phone.

"What? Lucifer what's happening?"

Chuck's voice called through the phone.

"He's- he's coming back."

"What??"

The heartbeats were strong. Raphael and the superior hadn't moved. Finally Naomi's voice filled the silence.

"Evidently he couldn't be without you either."

This time he didn't gasp into consciousness. His body had gone into a self induced coma from all the shock.

"Raphael you need to rest, your no good to him or anyone like this."

"I - I can't without him. Please don't make me leave."

Raphael suddenly closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Lucifer and Naomi shared a look. They recognized this look, he was retreating, pulling inward.  
Pretending there was no pain.  
Lucifer almost threw his phone until Chuck spoke again.

"Son give the phone to your brother."

"Look Dad he's not —"

"Now."

Lucifer sighed and tapped Raphael on the shoulder. He turned his eyes dead.

"What's up?"

"Dad wants to talk to you."

"He's stable. They okay? Thanks Father." 

Raphael hung up and placed the phone back in Lucifer's hand. He was too numb, to terrified to lose him. His eyes roved over the hallway.

Lucifer gently pulled on his sleeve.

"Come on Raph lets go. We'll be here in a couple hours okay?"

Raphael nodded numbly.

He didn't see the look Naomi and Lucifer shared, or the confused look of his superior.

All he could think about how Azazel would look like with blue lips.


	16. Fate (Part III)

Somehow knowing Azazel was in a coma and not in jail was worse, probably because he could see him whenever he wanted. He didn't pick up a blade though. He didn't think Azazel would like coming to see him on a gurney.

"Raphael? Are you listening?"

Raphael blinked and turned to see Naomi glaring at him over their daughter's head.

He looked from her face to his daughter's.

"Yes Edna? I'm sorry I'm a little distracted."

She looked up at him, her teeth scraping over her bottom lip nervously.

"Uh, uh I have a date."

Raphael rose an eyebrow,

"Oh anyone you would have mentioned before?"

"Um his name is Lucian."

Raphael nodded,

"Have fun."

He turned to sit back on the couch, picking up his sketch pencil and pad. He smiled at the memory.

"Hey what — wow babe that's amazing."

Raphael looked up from his pad to Azazel beam down at him. He patted the grass next to him. 

"Come sit with me."

Azazel nodded, his arms wound around Raphael as he did pulling him closer. He placed a couple kisses to his neck.

"So talented. Anything you can't do?"

Raphael shrugged,

"I don't know. Maybe? I haven't gotten you to scream yet."

Azazel had burst out laughing. After he calmed down he gazed at Raphael with that damn smile.

"Teach me?"

Raphael blinked as he swore he heard the words again. He looked to the side his son sitting next to him.

"Daddy! Daddy will you tech me?"

He gave an easy smile and nodded.

"Of course bud. Now come here."

For the next two hours he was happy, he relaxed. Joked with his family. Naomi was laughing, Edna was blushing and trying to hide her excitement.

Finally Isaiah had finished the drawing, with minimal help from Raphael.

"Daddy what do you think?"

They both asked that. Raphael looked at his daughter and forced himself to smile and not cry.

"You look beautiful princess."

He turned to his son and tried not to choke.

"Raphy here. Happy belated birthday."

Azazel looked shockingly nervous. Raphael placed his luggage on his bed and gave a quick kiss to Azazel's cheek which got him a small smile.

Raphael opened the folded piece of paper and gasped. It was a colored picture of a bluejay.

"Daddy?"

Raphael blinked and looked away from the blue sky and their family all happy holding hands.

"It's beautiful."

He rose and opened the door as a guy looked to knock. He gazed at the boy - because that's what he was. 

"Uh hello sir and I'm here —"

Raphael grabbed his coat and shrugged it on.

"Have her home at 10."

He stepped around him and realized in a stark moment of clarity that this would be his daughter's first official date.

He turned back to the young man and gave his best intimidating smile.

"Oh and do remember I'm a doctor. I know how to make accident happen. She better be as beautiful when she comes home as she was when she leaves. Understood?"

"Dad!"

"Yes sir."

He nodded and left. He wasn't sure if he should go see Azazel. He wanted to, but it hurt more to see him lifeless like that when he knew how he was really.

He sighed as he leaned against the doorframe staring at Azazel's sleeping form.

Apparently he was more of a masochist than he realized.

"Raphael. Look can we talk?"

Balthazar didn't even seemed surprised to see him. Raphael looked at him nodded. He motioned him inside and closed the door.

Raphael swallowed as he came toward the hospital bed.

"You can touch him if you want."

Raphael shook his head.

"I-I can't. Not when he's like this."

Balthazar nodded and sagged into a chair.

"Look let's get this out of the way okay? I want him. I want to marry him. Hell I told him this even before it came legal."

They both rolled their eyes that love had to be legalized to be valid.

"I told him to pick between you and me. You know what he said?"

Raphael's hand curled on the guard rail.

"He said he couldn't choose between us. That he needed me to remember everything was okay. And you? You he needed to know he'll be safe, that he could be happy again."

Raphael ducked his head and ran his finger down his jaw. Azazel's eyes fluttered.

"I will marry him Raphael."

"Please do. At least then I know he'll be safe."

Balthazar glared at him, his chair scraped against the tile floor as he got up and left.

As the door closed Azazel's eyes fluttered again.

Raphael stayed for a moment longer before leaving. 

He ran into his supervisor, he smiled at him sheepishly.

"Raphael aren't you off today?" 

Raphael nodded and gestured to Azazel's room as an explanation. His supervisor nodded,

"Far for me to comment but does uh Naomi know?"

Raphael nodded.

"Look sir I'll try not to hurt her, but I can't stay away."

Raphael saw movement out of his eye. He inwardly sighed and walked to the Doctors lounge. Curse Mana's mother for being an orderly.

"So it is true."

"Yes. Yes it is."

Mana put her head in her hands and groaned quietly.

"Have either of you thought how this would affect everyone else? Affect Edna and Isaiah?"

Raphael sighed.

"Look wouldn't be a better lesson for them to teach them to go after what you want rather than stay somewhere you're not happy?"

"You're not happy?"

"No I —

"Raphael! He's awake!"

Raphael pushed past his friend and to his room. 

"Az?"

He breathed.

Azazel turned to him and beamed. 

"Sorry to scare you. I went to Heaven and decided it wasn't worth it without you."

Raphael laughed, he was high, drunk on happiness. He fell into the chair as Azazel grinned at him, his eyes shinning.

"We exist for each other right?"

"Right."

Azazel clasped his hand, their hands entwined and Raphael closed his eyes and prayed he was making the right decision.

"Lets get married."

"I-I what?? Raphael."

"I can't lose you again. I refuse to."

"Raphael I - I - your family."

"Azazel."

"No. I won't do it."

"So you'll marry him?"

Azazel closed his eyes.

"Yes if that's what it takes to get over you. If that's what it takes to keep those kids happy then yes."

Raphael rose and glared down at him.

"You can't get over me, I'm irreplaceable."

He turned and left, ignoring his peers and Mana's eyes. He couldn't do this.

"Gabriel? Gabriel can I come over."

"Well I'm about to have a party, so..."

"Perfect I'll be there in five."

"Wait Raphael about Naomi or Azazel?"

"I'll explain when I get there. Just have something ready for me."

"Raphael."

He whined.

"Fly fast on your wings Gabriel or I'll strike you down."

"Oh shit biblical speech. Raph what happened?"

"People aren't dependable and will never change."

He got in a cab as he hung up on Azazel and on everything that entailed.

Weeks turned into months and Raphael was slowly forgetting how Azazel's hand would feel in his. How his weight felt around him when Azazel would hug him. 

He closed his eyes and threw himself into work and family. He ignored his siblings, father and aunt's looks of concern. Even Lucifer seemed to care.

"I'm happy. Isn't that what you wanted?"

Lucifer shook his head and smiled sadly at him.

"No before you were content and then when Azazel came you were happy. Now? Now you're disappointed and know what you missing."

Raphael rolled his eyes, ignoring how much that stung.

"Is there a point to this?"

"Look shockingly I want my brother to be happy." 

Raphael turned and walked away. He took a long swig of beer, Gabriel whistled.

"Seriously Amara I didn't know you this were good."

Raphael turned from the dinning room to walk to the entry way to see him in the hallway.

"Get out."

Raphael glared at him Azazel cringed away.

"Raphael look —"

"Get out, the third time I say that I won't just use words."

Azazel's eyes hardened and he pulled him away, down the corridor and shut the door. Raphael didn't miss the way he looked at the door, as if he was searching for answers in the contours of the wood.

He turned back to Raphael and stared at him for a moment. Finally he leaned forward him and kissed him. 

Raphael's hand let go of the bottle, lucky it bounced on the carpet. But neither of them noticed.

Raphael pulled him closer, his hands on his waist, Azazel hands slid from his cheeks into his hair. He seemed to sigh in happiness.

They crashed into the wall, Raphael was seeing stars. Finally the both pulled away in the face of oxygen.

They both breathed heavily, grinning. Then they were kissing again, this one more slowly, more expertise.

Raphael smirked as Azazel moaned softly for him.

"Fuck. I forgot that little trick of yours."

Raphael laugh only to be breathless a moment later when Azazel's fingers and tongue did that...Thing.

"Shit Azazel are you trying to make me lose control?"

Azazel laughed into his mouth.

"Of course."

Suddenly he stiffened, 

"Ring. Raphael ring."

Azazel pulled their clasped hands apart as Raphael unfroze and pulled away.

Azazel sighed and looked at him heartbroken.

"What are we doing Raphael?"

The question was quiet, even so Raphael took a step back. Though he probably shouldn't be surprised, he should have seen this coming. But neither of them ever defined anything. Ever.

Maybe they should start doing that.

"Love Azazel. We're falling in love."

Azazel closed his eyes, even so tears fell down his cheeks.

"Is it really love when it's hurting others?"

"What emotion isn't?"

Raphael wasn't even sure he why he was putting up such a fight. Maybe it was because he was tired of being content and wanted to be happy.

Azazel let his head fall back against the wall.

"Oh Raphael you know the worst part of this? The very worse part of this? I wanted to hate her, I wanted to find a reason to take you away. But no she's kind, gentle and knowingly allowed us to reconnect."

Azazel opened his eyes and pulled Raphael closer. He raised an eyebrow as Raphael quietly laughed into his neck.

"I wanted to hate him, I wanted to find a reason to get you away from him - but I couldn't. He cares about you. Azazel he wants to marry you. And I want you to be happy. Believe above all that's what I want."

Azazel nodded.

"I know babe I know."

Azazel let out a long sigh,

"But their you're family."

Raphael pushed him away and walked out the door,

"Raphael, wait."

Raphael glared back at him.

"No. I'm done. I would have, I am ready to give it all up for you. Not my problem if you can't commit."

Azazel flinched away, his eyes harden.

"Said the person who's having a hard time staying with their wife."

He hissed the word. Raphael walked away.

Raphael came toward Naomi and smiled at her. He could tell the moment she saw Azazel because she stiffened.

His hand comes to cup her cheek, he holds her face there. Time seems to slow down. He can hear the children in the background, can hear the front door open. But he keeps his eyes on her. If he does this, there's no turning back — they're done.

He pulls her close and kisses her. It's as beautiful as he remembers, familiar. But not soul crushing. He could be happy with this.

He pulls away and of course Azazel makes the next move, they loved each other, now they'll hate each other - any way to feel something. To be in each other's lives.

"Marry me Balthazar?"

He doesn't kneel but he does hold a ring out to him. Raphael doesn't look nor does he leave.

Balthazar stutters for a second before finally nodding.

"Yes of course!"

No one is really excited by this news.

Balthazar leads Azazel out to the patio and neither of them touch as he passes them.

Raphael pulls away and tries to ignore the pain and anger in Naomi's eyes. His hand comes around a glass of coke which he drains as he looks out the door. Azazel is grinning but his eyes hold Raphael's until Balthazar's pulling on his arm. He smiles sheepish and Raphael looks away as they kiss.

Months pass, everything is a blur of chatter and excitement. Till one night a case file is wrenched from his hands and thrown across the room. Raphael looks up in shock.

Naomi's hands are on her hips. She's glaring at him.

"Get out."

"I - Naomi?"

Because that's all he can ask. He's taken by surprise.

"You heard me. Just leave."

"Naomi, I—"

"I can't keep doing this. Please just go."

She's close to tears now, he stands and numbly leaves. His head is resting on the back of his front door as his mind whirls.

He scrolls through his phone, he doesn't want to involve his family now. Not this late at night, or early in the morning - depending on the time.

His hand hovers over his name. He sighs as he presses on the call button. His eyes closing as the dial tone greets. He prays he doesn't pick up and hopes he does.

"Raphael. What's wrong?"

"Why must be something to be wrong?"

Because Raphael wouldn't admit that even over the phone Azazel knows him well.

"Raphael."

"She kicked me out."

He's surprised that his voice doesn't waver, that's he's not broken up about this. But he guesses he already divorced her the moment Azazel came back into his life.

He hears a rustle of fabric and low muttering.

"Have a pen ready, hold on."

"Why?"

He's numb.

"So I can tell you where I live idiot."

"What about —"

"Just because I'm engaged to him doesn't mean I'm going to suddenly give up my independence."

Azazel bites back. He suddenly sighs but doesn't apologize. For some reason Raphael laughs at this. It was such a departure from everyone he knows. Everyone worrying if they'd offended —

"Raphael? Raph you listening?"

"Yeah what's the address?"

"42nd and 5th near the Holy Trinity Circle."

"Okay, I'll text you when —"

"Call. I'm not going to be doing anything that a little sound will hurt."

"Okay."

He dutifully responds. He knows Azazel's anger isn't for him. He gets up to leave only to stop. His case file.

He turns and opens the door to see Naomi on their couch drinking wine, her eyes red. She looks up her expression vacant. Raphael slowly comes and picks up his folder and looks back at her. They stare at each other for a moment before he turns and moves to door. He's closing the door when she says, 

"Going to him?"

He could lie here, could feign ignorance, but his need for secrecy and discretion is shot.

"Yes."

He closes the door. 

He comes to Azazel's building after a short while. He calls as he enters the lobby.

"You here?"

"Yeah."

"Okay I'll come get you. Hold on."

Raphael pulls at collar as he looks around. The place is beautiful.

A elevator ding and he instinctively turns. He tries to ignore the crushing disappointment.

Again the elevator dings,

"Raphael? Hey come on." 

Raphael eyes rove around his apartment. Azazel gestures him inside.

"Go explore."

"Anything stopping you now?"

Because Raphael can only take this banality for so long. He looks back Azazel who sighs.

Raphael can feel his anger building but then Azazel's soft question cuts through him like a knife.

"You sure this is you want?"

Raphael takes a step toward him, caging him against the door.

"You are all I've ever wanted."

Azazel stares at him for a moment before going to his phone. He presses it to his ear.

"Sorry Balthazar to wake you but, I can't do this. I can't be happy with you. I though I could but I can't. In sorry but the engagement is off."

Azazel hangs up and looks at Raphael. They beam at each other. Sharing a kiss Raphael finally feels alive. He finally feels like he's not drowning.

He smiles against Azazel's lips knowing that whatever to come, Balthazar's anger, the children's pain would be okay. As long as he had Azazel he knew everything was going to be okay.


	17. Motel

Raphael forced himself to pay attention to the road ahead of him. Though Azazel was making it next to impossible. Not because he was talking, no quite the opposite.

He was asleep, and Raphael was starting to feel like he was going to lose his mind. Awake, Raphael loved his infectious smile and eyes that would sparkle with mischief.

Asleep. Even asleep Azazel had his own charm. And yes Raphael had seen him asleep a near countless amount of times. But under the street lights? Seeing the way his lashes fluttered every time the light hit them? 

No. Raphael had not prepared for that. He wasn't sure there was a way he could prepare that sheer innocent beauty.

"Your starting Raphael."

Azazel muttered, half asleep.

Raphael blinked and looked around at the Motel parking lot. Thankfully at some point in his musings he had the forethought to park before he crashed them into a tree.

Raphael gently caressed his cheek.

"How could I not? You look beautiful like this."

Azazel snorted but he opened his eyes and smiled.

"Good thing we pulled up to a motel when we did, you could clearly use some sleep."

Raphael shook his head. Gently pulling Azazel to him for a soft kiss. One that had Azazel pulling away humming. He gave a soft smile blushing.

He opened his mouth before shaking his head and closing it. He unbuckled his belt and crawled over to Raphael. 

Kissing his cheek, jaw, lips as he moved. He deepened the kiss as he felt Raphael hold him tighter.

He looped his arms around Raphael's neck loosely. Softly continuing to kiss him. Raphael smiled kissing back, his grip relaxing only to thumb slow circles into Azazel's hips.

After a while Azazel leaned his forehead on Raphael's and beamed.

"As much as I would love to spend the rest of the night kissing you, you need to sleep."

Raphael gave a minuet pour before kissing Azazel again.

"But I like kissing you."

He murmured against the others lips, smiling as Azazel giggled.

They kissed some more. Azazel began to play with the back of Raphael's hair. Raphael's hands stayed on Azazel's waist, though they began to trail up and down his sides.

Reluctantly Azazel pulled away again.

"Raph why don't you want to sleep?"

Raphael gave a soft smile.

"I won't get to see you asleep."

Azazel rose an eyebrow, before sighing and shaking his head.

"And everyone thinks I'm the romantic one."

Raphael hummed nipping at Azazel's chin.

"What they don't know won't hurt them."

Azazel chuckled.

"No, but it would certainly confuse them."

Raphael finally pulled away.

"How long am I booking it for?"

Azazel shook his head.

"You can barely keep your eyes open. I'll book them, how long?"

Raphael rolled his eyes.

"Are you saying my kissing skills leave something to be desired? I feel fine, but..."

He trailed giving a mischievous smile.

"A week? I need to try to become immune to seeing you asleep under neon lights."

Azazel grinned. He pitched his voice low, husky.

"Honey, if you can't handle me asleep under neon lights, you're certainly not going to be able to handle me dancing under them."

Raphael gave a soft groan, leaning his head against Azazel's shoulder.

"Why would you give me that image?"

He could feel Azazel shaking with laughter.

"Well, since you insist you're not tired I thought why not test your claim?"

Raphael held him tighter, nipping hard at Azazel's neck. Raphael gave him a small shove.

"Go book the room."

He said through clenched teeth, trying to keep himself under control.

Azazel grinned, giving him a soft, lingering kiss.

Raphael relaxed a little, though he whined as Azazel slid off him and made for the car door.

Azazel sent him a wink and left.

Raphael let his head fall back against the headrest, he shook his head chuckling.

Azazel would be the death of him.


	18. Chocolate (Part II)

Their days started like any other, Raphael trying to get up for work and Azazel not allowing him to move. Or it should have except when Raphael woke up Azazel had already left the bed.

Raphael felt his anger rise. He closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. 

Raphael hauled himself out of bed and padded into the living room. He felt another stab of anger at seeing Azazel working, again he suppressed it. 

He bent down to give Azazel a quick kiss on the cheek. Azazel blinked and put the paper he was reading down and looked up and smiled distractedly before going back to the papers.

Raphael's flinched clenched. He knew it was an important case, knew he should be more considerate but right now he wanted his boyfriend back.

"Have you been here all night?"

Azazel made a noncommittal noise.

Raphael snapped. He forced his voice doctor calm, hiding any personal feelings.

"Well come on, I'm going to hop in the shower."

"That's nice Raph."

Raphael rolled his eyes and pulled at Azazel's arm.

"I'm inviting you idiot. Put the papers down and join me."

Azazel gave a tired sigh and finally nodded. He didn't wrench his arm away which Raphael took for a good sign. He even gave a tired smile as he finally took in what Raphael was wearing — which was nothing.

"Trying to seduce me you tempest?"

Raphael rolled his eyes with an easy smile. Biting back the words that he shouldn't need to seduce him. He decided to pull him which got him to laugh.

"Alright, alright I'm coming. Just let me put my glasses down. Go get the ready."

Raphael's eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms.

"No. I can wait."

Azazel had done this before, become so consumed with work or whatever it was that everything fell by the way side. Raphael never really minded, he usually could pull Azazel back before it got too bad. But since he was busy with being an attending he didn't have time. Which resulted in things like this.

Azazel sighed and put his glasses down. Raphael watched him and couldn't help sniping,

"Don't worry I'm sure no one will break into our apartment and steal your precious papers."

Azazel stilled and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out before he opened his eyes.

"Don't start a fight, not today. Let's just enjoy our shower."

Raphael stared at him before moving to the side and motioning for Azazel to go. Azazel glared at him and walking to the bathroom while rolling his eyes.

"You know this is an apartment right? Not a prison?"

Raphael snorted following he quipped.

"Yes because prisons have an element of fun, of chaos we have none of that."

Raphael came into the bedroom to see Azazel staring at him, his shirt already off.

"Take that back. We have fun. I have fun."

Raphael smiled sweetly and shut the door locking it. Azazel watched him.

Raphael walked toward him, his hands trailing down his body. He grinned when Azazel stiffened. He pushed him against the wall, easily undoing his pants. Raphael leaned toward his ear,

"You want to turn this place into a prison?"

Azazel locked onto Raphael's eyes as he pulled away. Raphael watched him waiting.

A slow smile, the fire rekindling.

"Must we shower together sir?"

Raphael could feel his pace quicken. He gave a slow smile of his own.

"I never leave the beautiful ones unattended now come on. I have places to be. Move."

The last word was forceful, Raphael gently pushed at his shoulders. Azazel complied. 

Raphael felt a thrill jolt up his spine as Azazel's eyes raked over him.

"You are trying to seduce me tempest."

"Eyes front."

But Raphael did send him a small smile in acknowledgment. Azazel winked in return. 

He opened the shower door and stepped inside. Leaning against the wall as he crossed his arms. His eyes never leaving as Raphael joined him and turned the shower on. The cold making them both jump before being enveloped by scalding heat.

Raphael stiffened when he felt Azazel's arms wound around him. He fought the urge to melt into him and kiss him senseless.

"Did I say you could touch me?"

Azazel's eyes widened in surprise. Raphael tried to hide his smirk. He was so used to the game changing, their play was fluid very rarely rigid it threw him for a second. 

Raphael's hand grasped his arm a gentle squeeze.

"Well did I?"

Azazel pulled his arms away and kept the act up.

"But sir we are alone. No cameras can we not —?"

"You think just because no one can see us the rules change?"

Azazel cocked his head and went for a different tactic. He would get what he wanted, he always did.

"But sir I love you. I think your beautiful. How could I not want to touch a piece of Heaven?"

Raphael barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"You think I'm beautiful?"

His hand came slowly to trail down his body. Azazel watched him. He smiled.

"It isn't even a question."

Raphael surged forward and gave him a long kiss. Azazel kissed back but kept his hand away. Finally Raphael pulled away enough to laugh quietly. Azazel looked better, the distracted haunted look was gone.

"You can touch me Az. Or if you prefer we can finish our game."

Azazel shook his head as Raphael shuddered when he felt his hand nearly everywhere.

"I much prefer my sweet doctor to a constipated warden."

Raphael rolled his eyes and pulled him into another kiss. 

Azazel relaxed into him, both taking their time. They finally exited the shower and lied on the bed almost completely dry.

"Thanks for that."

Azazels voice was quiet. Raphael gave his hand a squeeze.

"I should be understanding though."

Azazel shrugged,

"Maybe. But you're right nothing's going to happen if I take a break. Besides I've missed you."

He said looking at him a for a long moment, smiling shyly.

Raphael smirked.

"Oh really? How much did you miss me?"

Azazel moved to lay on top of him.

"This much."

He murmured into Raphael's ear before ravishing him thoroughly.

Raphael slowly caught his breath and pulled Azazel closer, his eyelids dropping.

Azazel nuzzled his neck before pulling away.

"Don't you have work today?"

Raphael opened his eyes and stared at him. One day wouldn't hurt would it?

"I'll stay, if you promise to be mine for the rest of today. No work for either of us. Deal?"

Azazel's eyes widened and he sat up to look down at him.

"Really? You'd skip work for me?"

Raphael smiled and sat up pulling Azazel into his lap.

"I've missed my sexy lawyer."

Azazel beamed and kissed him.

"Do it. Can you tidy my papers for me too?"

Raphael rose an eyebrow.

"Why?"

Azazel grinned.

"I had a gift planned for our anniversary but I think now is good a time as any to get it."

Raphael raised an eyebrow gasping as Azazel squeezed his ass as he moved from his lap.

"You going to go?"

Raphael pinned Azazel to the bed kissing him hard on the mouth before getting up. 

Azazel moved to the closet and got the present out smiling when he felt Raphael pull him close.

"Well, did they buy it?"

"Mmm-hmm."

Raphael bent down to kiss his neck and nuzzle him for a moment before he looked down at what Azazel held.

"What is that?"

"We paint ourselves and have sex on the included sheet, it's suppose to be erotic. Why are you looking like that?"

Azazel demanded looking at Raphael who was trying not to giggle.

"Well instead of paint how about we use chocolate?"

Azazel grinned and put hands on his waist and pulled him close.

"And whipped cream?"

Raphael grinned and nodded.

"Sure.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on: http://dreamergirl6.tumblr.com/post/138561938810/imagine-your-otp
> 
> Send me prompts people! I would love to do them!


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